24 March 2020

Em is having breakfast

Em reports to her mother that she helped herself to breakfast, and Cassie replies that she was going to buy her a big greasy breakfast in the café, 

"I don't like heavy things in the morning"

but Em does not really like heavy things like that in the morning.

"I found these photos at the bottom of the wardrobe"

Cassie has also found a box of photographs at the bottom of the wardrobe, which she maintains include some lovely photos of Em;  

Em looks disparagingly at the box of photos

“People used to you looked just like your mother.”   

"That's rather common for me!"

In Megan’s shop, Diane is looking at some items of ladies wear, and snootily remarks that one of them is rather common for her.   

She finds a copy of her novel

Then, turning her attention to the books on display, she is dismayed to find a copy of her novel;  

"I thought it was a very good novel"

Megan is quick to point out, “Some people only read books once, you know – I thought it was a very good novel.”

"All the classics have been on these chelves"

Diane insists that a lot of hard work went into writing it, and Megan reassures her that all the classics have been on her shelves.   

Then Diane discovers another one . . .

Diane’s mood becomes even worse when she sees another copy, and decides to buy both of them, for £1 each.   

. . . one that she had personally signed

Then she notices that one of them has been signed by her, and exclaims, “Who would give a signed copy to a charity shop?” and leaves the shop in a temper.

"I hated that dress"

As they look through the box of photos, Em remarks how she hated a particular dress, because the frills made her itch.   “Have you got photos of me in those blue dungarees?” she asks, “I still wear dungarees – 

"You always used to put me in dresses, didn't you?"

“you always used to put me in dresses, didn’t you?”

Cassie demands, “Is it my fault that you’re – you know – the way you are?”   

"There's nothing wrong with me"

Em replies that it is no-one’s fault, as there is nothing wrong with her.   She goes on to ask, “Have you noticed that there are no pictures of just me?   

"Pictures of your boyfriends – and I happen to be in them"

“There are pictures of your boyfriends, and I just happen to be in them.”

"At the Anglesey show – with Dave"

She selects certain photos;  “Me at the Anglesey show, with Dave, a park in Bangor with Hefin, Parc Meurig with – 

"What's his name – Garry, Graham?"

“what was his name – Garry, Graham?”   She insists that school photos do not count, 

"Your life revolved around men!"

complaining, “Even when I was little, your life revolved around men – I was never good enough!”

Angharad asks Gwen for a black coffee

In the café, Angharad flamboyantly orders a black coffee from Gwen.   Diane comes in and finds Jason sitting there;  

"I've just bought these from Apêl Maenan"

she slams down the two books on the table, and tells him that she has just bought them at the Apêl Maenan shop.   “One copy has been signed – can you believe it?   It’s been thrown away to a junk shop, like a piece of rubbish!”

"Don't let Megan hear you say she runs a junk shop!"

He advises her not to let Megan hear her saying that she runs a junk shop, and Angharad intrudes upon their conversation, 

"The book's great – and really raunchy!"

maintaining that the book is great, and really raunchy.   “I’m sure that whoever did that to the book never even opened it,” she continues, 

"I don't want you feeling sorry for me"

and will buy the books from Diane, who charges £2 for each.   Angharad says that she is going to post them to couple of friends, and would like Diane to sign the other one.

"Do ypoiu fancy a private reading?"

While she goes to the counter to borrow a pen, Angharad remarks to Jason, “Do you fancy coming over one night for a private reading?   

"It's hot stuff!"

“You’ve got my number – it’s hot stuff!”   Jason says nothing, as Diane returns with the signed book.   

"What a lovely woman"

After Angharad has left, Diane comments, “What a lovely woman,” and Jason smiles, wryly.

"What should I bring to the party?"

In the street, Sioned and Mathew are talking whan Angharad interrupts, asking what she should bring to the party tonight;  she advises that she is Iolo’s ‘plus one’, and she loves parties.

"Just a couple of friends getting together"

Mathew stresses that it is not exactly a party;  “Just a couple of close friends getting together,” and Angharad says she will bring some posh crisps.   She informs them that Iolo is all right, and just wants to start enjoying life again.

Megan has had a busy morning in the shop

Megan comes into the Deri, and orders an orange juice with some ice from Garry;  “It’s been quite a morning in the shop,” she tells him.   

"I'm getting away from Mam"

Then Em arrives and orders a pint of lager, adding that she is getting away from her mother.

Garry advises her not to worry;  

"Your mother's OK, you know"

“It was always going to be a shock for her, this gender business, but your mother’s OK, you know.”   

"Megan, this is Em, Cassie's daughter – er, child"

He introduces Megan to Em, Cassie’s daughter – er, child.”   

"Your mother must be glad to have you here"

Megan remembers meeting her when she was very small, and is sure that her mother must be very glad to have her there.

"We don't really know each other"

“Things haven’t been easy, so we don’t really know each other,” Em replies, 

"I thought you were very close at one time"

but Garry had been under the impression they were very close at one time.   “No – that’s what gets on my nerves,” Em answers, “She used to go off with her boyfriends – but it’s as if she’s forgotten all about it.”

DJ is introducing Jason to online dating

In the café, DJ has now joined Jason and his mother;  he has downloaded an app for Jason, and has put a decent photo on his profile.   “All you have to do is wait for the women to line up in a queue,” he alleges.

"What's this all about, DJ?"

He explains to Diane that this is a dating app;  

"I would be on it if I had more time"

“Everyone is on it these days – I would be if I had more time.”   Jason attempts to point out to him that he is not interested, and Diane asks if he has heard from Kelly;  

"No, I haven't, Mam"

he gloomily responds that he has not.

In view of that, his mother considers that it is time he started looking again;  “How does it work, DJ?”   

DJ explains the mechanics of the app

He explains that you look through the list of women, and if you like them, you swipe one way, but if you do not, you swipe the other way.   Diane seizes the phone and begins to look through the women listed there.   

"This one's got her own business"

Jason objects most strongly to this as Diane comments, “Hey, this one’s got her own business – she’s lovely!   

"This one looks like Meryl Streep"

“And this one looks like Meryl Streep!”   As Jason grabs the phone, he growls that she looks the same age as Meryl Streep as well, but his mother argues that the app could change his life.

Iolo does not want to go

Angharad goes to number 7 to collect Iolo, but he has decided not to go;  “I can’t be bothered – I just want to sit here and watch this box set,” he tells her, but she will not take no for an answer, 

"It's time you started enjoying life"

insisting that it is time he started enjoying life.

She informs him that Mathew was asking about him earlier;  

"Mathew seemed very keen on you, if you know what I mean!"

“He seemed very keen to see you, if you know what I mean!”   

"Don't be stupid – he's not gay"

Iolo tells her not to be stupid, as Mathew is not gay, but she will not relent, 

Angharad gives him a can to drink in the shower

and orders him to take a shower and put on his glad rags;  “Mathew will be looking forward to seeing that pretty little face.”   The rather pliable Iolo does as he is told.

"No, I'm more of a football person"

In the Deri, Em is chatting with Tyler and telling him she is more of a football person than rugby, 

Then Em sees her mother arrive . . .

but as soon as her mother comes in, she decides that she is going.   

. . . and is urged to go to the party

Tyler urges her to go with them to the party, and she agrees, 

She makes a point of ignoring her mother

completely ignoring her mother.

"That was a very good meal, Garry"

Megan is very complimentary about the meal she has just eaten, and thinks she will try to persuade the Merched y Wawr [Welsh Women’s Institute] committee to meet in the Deri sometimes.

"Why didn't you tell me you left Em for ten years?"

Garry asks Cassie, “Why didn’t you tell me that you left Em with her grandmother and her father for ten years?”   

"No-one would make a fuss if it were a man"

She replies that no-one would make any fuss if a man left his child.  
“Em is great, and you’ve got an opportunity now to make things right,” he insists.

"It's Em's business, isnt it?"

“You had no business talking about me behind my back!” Cassie tells him, but he points out that it is Em’s business, 

She is told she should speak to Em

and it seems to him that Em needs to talk to someone;  this is Cassie’s child and she needs to sort things out.

The party begins – with a few strange faces

At the party, Sioned gets Em another drink, and says that it is nice to meet her;  

Iolo is in the party spirit already

Iolo and Angharad come in, and it appears that already Iolo has consumed some alcohol.   

"I like your aftershave, Iolo"

Angharad supplies him with more, and Mathew remarks on Iolo’s aftershave.   

"There – he's all over you like a rash"

“There – told you, didn’t I?” says Angharad, “He’s all over you, like a rash – and he’s quite hot, fair play!”  

"Tyler has been sleeping with a different man every night . . ."

Mathew has gone over to sit on the sofa with Tyler, and Iolo loudly remarks to Angharad, “He has been like a dog since we parted, sleeping with a different man every night – it’s embarrassing – I’m so glad I’m not with him any more!   

". . . I wouldn't want him back if he was the last man on the planet!"

“I wouldn’t want him back if he was the last man on the planet!”

"Have you organised a date yet?"

Diane returns home to find Jason looking at his phone;  “How’s the new app going then?” she enquires, “Have you organised a date with anyone yet?   All the nice girls will have gone.”   

"It's not a jumble sale, Mam"

He points out that it is not a jumble sale, and in any case he is very doubtful about the idea;  “They all do the same things with their faces – the ‘trout pout’.   

"She looks like something out of Angler's Weekly!"

“Look at this one – she looks like something out of Angler’s Weekly!   I don’t know what to say to them – 

"I quite like this one"

“all right, I quite like this one, and we’ve been matched, so she likes me.   I’m supposed to to start talking to her now – 

"What am I supposed to say to her?"

“what am I supposed to say?

"Your eyes are bluer than my favourite summer days"

Diane takes the phone and suggests, “Your eyes are bluer than my favourite summer days?   Women like a bit of romance, Jason.”   

"I'm going to the Deri"

He takes back his phone, and decides that he is going to the Deri.   His mother advises, “If you’re looking for a woman, you’d better change that shirt!”

Angharad makes sure Iolo is becoming inebriated

At the party, Angharad is still plying Iolo with quantities of alcohol, 

"Hasn't he had enough?"

and DJ thinks that he should be stopped, as he is already plastered, 

"He's not my problem any more"

but Tyler is glad that Iolo is no longer his problem, and he will not have to clean up after him in the morning.

Angharad is still encouraging Iolo to go and talk to Mathew, 

"You're like Victor Meldrew today"

and Sioned maintains that Mathew is like Victor Meldrew today;  he protests that he is just tired.   

Em seems to find this amusing

She jokingly reckons that he and Tyler would make a good couple.

Iolo approaches Mathew . . .

Iolo gets to his feet, with difficulty, and approaches Mathew, asking if he is all right, 

. . . then kisses him

then suddenly lunges forward and kisses him.   

A well-aimed punch . . .

Mathew’s immediate reaction is to lash out 

. . . knocks Iolo across the room

and knocks Iolo flying across the room, 

"What's wrong with you, Iolo?"

as Sioned demands what is wrong with Iolo.   DJ emphasises that he cannot just kiss someone like that, 

"Chill out, can't you?"

but Angharad tells them to chill out, and tries to comfort Iolo.   Sioned orders him to leave the flat, 

Iolo's ignominious exit

and, full of apologies and embarrassment, he does so.

"Another round, please, Cassie"

In the Deri, Diane orders another round for herself and Jason from Cassie;  it appears that he has gone to visit the gent’s, 

"Isn't that Jason's phone?"

and misguidedly left his phone on the bar.   

Diane cannot resist looking at it

When it sounds, his mother looks at it, 

"Jason needs a bit of help with the dating app"

and she tells Garry that Jason needs a bit of help with this dating app he has.

“Listen to this message,” she says, “Do you speak Welsh?”   Garry cannot believe that she is answering for him, but she is confident that he will thank her in the end.  

"You're a Blodeuwedd of a girl"

“Yes, love, and after seeing your picture, you’re a Blodeuwedd of a girl,” she sends in reply

"You make him sound a real . . ."

Garry grimaces;  “You make him sound a real . . !” and then Jason returns.   

"What's wrong with you, Mam?"

He is disgusted by what is mother has done, and wonders what is what is wrong with her.   She maintains that Welsh girls love men who can speak about poetry.

"OK, weirdo!

However, then he receives a reply to that message, “OK, weirdo!” which Cassie and Garry find rather amusing.   Diane is glad that he did not go for a date with her, as they are obviously not suited.   Jason decides he is going straight home, and will delete that app.

"I'm not going to find a wife when I'm out with my mother, am I?"

She reminds him that he will not find a wife, sitting at home, but he angrily replies, “I’m not going to find a wife when I’m out with my mother, am I?”

"Good night, weirdo!"

Smiling, Garry bids him, “Goodnight, weirdo!”

"I punched him really hard, Sioned"

The party is now breaking up, and Mathew groans, “I punched him really hard!” but Sioned tells him not to worry about it.   
DJ adds that it is not his fault, as Iolo kissed him. 

"Is he always like that when he's drunk?"

Em asks if Iolo is always like that when he is drunk, and Tyler confirms that he is never like that;  

"He knows full well that Mathew's not gay"

“He knows full well that Mathew isn’t gay – if he was trying to make me jealous, it didn’t work!   I’m not sure about that Angharad, either.”

"Angharad's all right"

Sioned is under the impression that Angharad is all right, and it is not her fault that Iolo acted like that.   The others leave and 

"Am I giving out gay vibes?"

Mathew is wondering, “Am I giving out gay vibes?”   Sioned once again assures him that it was not his fault, 

"You did nothing wrong, Math!"

and that he did nothing wrong.

Cassie sits, thinking

Cassie is sitting in the dark at number 10 when Em returns, and thought that she would have been in bed.   

"I didn't want to go to bed until you came home"

She replies that she did not want to go to bed until Em was home;  “Isn’t it enough that you were in the Deri all day, saying nasty things about me?”   Em replies that she was only telling the truth.

"I'm trying to do my best"

Cassie pleads that she is trying her best;  “Until the next boyfriend comes along, and I’ll get dumped again,” Em snarls.   Cassie knows that she is an woman underneath all that, because only a woman could be such a bitch.

"I was taught by the best, wasn't I?"

Em stresses that she was taught by the best, but she is stopped there;  

"No – I wasn't there, remember?"

“No – I wasn’t there, remember?”   Em demands why her mother will not accept her the way she is, pointing out that she created her.

"I will accept you, Mai"

“I will, Mai,” says Cassie and hugs her, 

"My name's not Mai"

but, always having the last word, Em reminds her mother that her name is not Mai.