27 October 2022

"I left it outside the chapel"

As Gwyneth returns to number 9, she is talking to Jinx on the phone;  “I left the bench outside the door of Bethania – don’t worry, nobody is going to steal it.   The paint will come off with a bit of sanding – 

"Kath is responsible for the eyes"

“and Kath is responsible for the eyes, not me.”

Then there is a knock at the door, 

There is no-one outside

but when she opens it, no-one is there, and a car, (which used to be Ffion’s),  is just driving away.   

She looks along the street . . .

She thinks this is rather strange, 

. . . the discovers this . . .

 when she turns to go back inside she notices a Post-it note on the door, which reads, ‘I know!   Coed y Cribyn, 12pm’.   

. . . which she was not expecting

This makes her look very uncomfortable.

Mark is working on the laptop

Mark is looking at the laptop and Tyler wonders what he is doing;  

"I'm making a will"

I’m making a will,” is the reply, “And it’s complicated.”

“Well, make sure you leave the pink and orange flowery shirt to me,” Tyler quips, but Mark stresses that it is not funny;  it is important to sort these things out.   

"Ricky will get most of my stuff"

Ricky will get most of his stuff, obviously, but he wants to leave something to Liam and Vicky as well.   He has not thought about his mother and Stacey yet.

"Mark, you're not dying"

“Mark, you’re not dying,” Tyler insists, but Mark remembers they told him that before, and he was dying.   

"Only one kidney – and I don't even own that"

Now he only has one kidney, and he does not even own that.   “Look, if you’re really that worried about your health, going to see a doctor!” Tyler encourages him.

"There should be laws against that kind of thing"

Outside the Deri, Eifion is complaining to Cassie, “I can’t believe that Rhys bought number 10 under my nose – there should be laws against that kind of thing – insider trading.”

Cassie demonstrates what she wants him to do

Cassie wants him to apply glue to the bench outside the pub and then apply pressure until it sticks.   He cannot see the point and suggests buying another one, but she stresses that money does not grow on trees.   He objects most strongly to holding the joint down for a quarter of an hour, 

"Value for money for 15 minutes!"

and she sighs, “Well at least the Deri Arms will get value for money for 15 minutes!”

Eifion tosses down the glue . . .

When she goes back inside, Eifion’s phone rings, so he tosses down the tube of glue on a nearby chair;  he cannot hear the caller very clearly, so he moves to a position with a better signal.   

. . . and Tyler sits on it

Meanwhile Tyler comes and sits down on the chair, being engrossed in his phone, so does not notice what he is sitting on, until his trousers are stained with glue.

"What have you done now, Eifion?"

Cassie comes back out and demands what Eifion has done;  “This idiot must have sat on my glue.”   Tyler is adamant that Eifion should buy him a new pair, 

"For reporting me to Environmental Health!"

but is told, “That’s what you get for reporting me to Environmental Health!”   Eifion maintains that there was nothing wrong with Tyler;  “He just wanted to get back at me for sleeping with his husband.”

Is Tyler going to 'take a swing' at him?

Tyler looks as if he might be going to throw a punch, but thinks better of it and walks away.   

"Get on with the job!"

Cassie snarls to Eifion to get on with the job as instructed.

"When will we see you in a dog collar?"

Jinx is manhandling the bench by the door of Bethania when Siôn comes down the back street;  “Admiring your new kingdom?” he says, “When will we see you in dog collar, then?”

"I'm here to help people, not to preach to them"

Jinx replies that he is here to help people, not to preach to them;  “Youth clubs, yoga for old people – that sort of thing.”   Siôn remarks that was his vision when he led the place, and Jinx asks what happened.   

"Megan wanted to keep things as they were"

“Megan and her kind wanted to keep things as they were – make sure the same thing doesn’t happen to you.”

"Lucky there are young people in charge"

“Well, it’s lucky there are plenty of young people in charge,” says Jinx, adding that Kath and Gwyneth upcycled the pew.   

"It can't go back in the chapel like that"

Siôn stresses that it cannot go back in the chapel like that, and will have to be cleaned.

“I like it,” Jinx comments, “It’s colourful and different – 

"What other chapel has a bench like that?"

“what other chapel has a bench like that?   And I like that little face, too!”   

"Oh – it's a face, is it?"

Then Siôn realises that it is indeed a face, blaming Megan’s influence for misleading him.   

They lift it up

They will carry it into the chapel.

Tyler scrubs his trousers – to no avail

At number 7, Tyler is furiously scrubbing at his trousers, in a vain attempt to remove the glue, when Iolo comes in, looking for Greta’s library book, 

"There are such things as washing machines"

and comments that there are such things as washing machines.

"I wasted the best years of my life on you!"

Tyler is not in the mood for such levity, grumbling, “Eifion got glue on my new trousers – I can’t believe I wasted the best years of my life with you – only for you to leave me for that idiot!”   

"That's not what happened, Ty"

Iolo points out that is not what happened, 

"Well, you slept with him, so . . ."

but Tyler goes on, “Well, you slept with him while we were together, and now you’re with him, so . . .”

Iolo reiterates that he did not leave Tyler for Eifion, 

"There's no point trying to talk to you"

and maintains that there is no point trying to talk to him when he is like that.   He walks out with the book.

A car is parked in the wood

A car is parked in the wood;  inside are Garry and Dylan, who is again drumming irritatingly, this time on the roof.   

"Stop that, will you?"

“Stop that, will you?” snarls Garry.

"Are you sure Gwyneth will come?"

After a long pause, Dylan asks if he is sure that Gwyneth will come;  “I know she’ll come – I know her,” is the reply.

“And this bloke – are you sure you can trust him?” asks Dylan.   

"OK, right"

Garry’s phone sounds, and he is informed that the hitman is in position.   

"So we can go now"

It is increasingly obvious that Dylan is becoming very nervous and wants to go now.

"No, we're dealing with the body"

“No,” Garry insists, “He’s doing the shooting – we’re dealing with the body – because it’s safer that way.”   

"I didn't agree to this!"

This does nothing to ease Dylan’s feeling of terror, and he protests that he did not agree to this.

"You must be an old hand at moving bodies by now"

“You wanted the hit!” Garry reminds him, “And anyway, you must be an old hand at moving bodies by now.   

"All we have to do is wait"

“All we have to do is wait.”

Mark tells them of his decision

Mark goes to Maes-y-Deri to inform his mother, “I’ve come to a decision – I’m making arrangements in case I go before you.”   

"Stop this nonsense, Mark"

She tells him to stop his nonsense, and reminds him that he was jogging the other day.   

"About what kind of funeral I want"

He says that he has been thinking since then about what kind of funeral he wants.

"What sandwiches do you want in the Deri afterwards?"

“Have you thought about what sort of sandwiches you want in the Deri afterwards?” she asks.

"I want to be buried with Dad"

He continues, “And I want to be buried with Dad – in the same grave as Dad – there’s enough room, I’ve checked.”

Brynmor comments, “Well, if that’s what he wants,” 

"And what about what I want?"

and his mother wants to know where she figures in his plans.

"I thought you'd want to be buried with Brynmor"

“I thought you’d want to be buried with Brynmor,” Mark had assumed, “That’s what you want, isn’t it?”

“And who are you to decide where I’m buried?” Kath demands;  Mark concedes that she can share the grave with him and his father.   

"I don't want you in the middle of your father and me!"

“Oh, thank you very much – I don’t want you in the middle of your father and me, do I?” she rages.

“Well, you’ll have to get a move on and die before me!   They can’t just shift us around, can they?   It’s not Jenga!”   Brynmor considers that it is time to put a stop to this, 

"Get out of my sight!"

and Kath orders Mark to get out of her sight, which he does.

“Absolute nonsense!” Kath exclaims, 

"What am I going to do with that boy?"

“What am I going to do with that boy?”   

"You could get cremated, and could fit me in as well"

Brynmor lightheartedly suggests that she could get cremated, then they could fit him in as well, 

"That's enough of that talk, good boy!"

but she does not want any more of that talk.

"Perhaps Gwyneth's decided not to come"

Back in the wood, Dylan suggests, “Perhaps Gwyneth’s decided not to come,” but Garry is quite convinced that she will be there.   “How can you be so sure?   Perhaps we should forget the whole thing,” Dylan goes on, 

Then there is a gunshot

but then there is the unmistakable sound of a gunshot, and he looks terrified.

"That's it – it's over"

That’s it,” Garry mutters, “It’s over.”

Tyler flings his trousers on the bar

marches into the Deri and throws down the wet pair of trousers on the bar;  

"Eurgh – they're all wet!"

“Eurgh – they’re all wet!” Eifion complains, and is told that the trousers are ruined.   “You can’t just walk in here and throw your wet trousers around!” Eifion protests.

"I want compensation!"

Tyler is adamant that he wants compensation, and is told that Eifion did him a favour, as they are horrible.   “A fashion critique from this idiot – thanks very much, Huw Fash!” Tyler growls.

"How much did they cost?"

Cassie asks how much they cost, and is quoted the inflated sum of £60, which she proceeds to take from the till.   “Don’t give him any money – he’s making a fuss over nothing,” Eifion moans, 

"It's coming out of your wages!"

but she takes no notice, advising that it will come out of Eifion’s wages.

“He’s only doing this because I took Iolo from him!” he stresses, 

"Iolo doesn't want you – you're just a  bit of fun"

but Tyler maintains that Iolo does not want him, and says that he is ‘only a bit of fun’ – he can go and ask Iolo himself.   

“Go home and take your rags with you!” Eifion snarls,.

"You deserve everything you've got recently!"

Tyler’s parting comment is, “You deserve everything you’ve got recently!” 

"What do you mean by that?"

and Eifion wonders what that is supposed to mean.

Someone is watching the car . . .

Back in the wood, it is obvious that someone is watching the car from behind a tree;  

. . . and Garry can see them in the mirror

Garry looks in the rearview mirror and sees a hooded figure, all in black, approaching.   

"Right, get out of the car"

He receives a text message and tells Dylan, now extremely concerned, to get out of the car.

"Where's the body?"

“Where’s the body?” he demands and is told that it is behind him.   He is very puzzled by this, 

A hooded – and armed – figure approaches . . .

but when he looks round the hooded figure emerges and points a gun at him.   

. . . it is none other than Gwyneth, looking menacing

Then the hood is removed to reveal that it is in fact Gwyneth, who is staring demonically at him.

Brynmor goes to see Mark

Brynmor goes to see Mark at number 7 who says, “You can tell Mam I don’t care what you do with me after I go – 

"Throw the ashes on the pavement – I don't care!"

“you can cremate me and throw the ashes on the pavement – I don’t care!”

Brynmor points out that his mother had rather a shock earlier, and Mark insists that he is only trying to prepare himself.   

"You're thinking more about dying than living"

“She’s upset because it seems that you’re thinking more about dying than living,” and Mark agrees that she may be right;  

"Perhaps I am a bit morbid"

perhaps he is a bit morbid, but Brynmor, of all people, should understand with this prostate playing up.

"It's not necessarily the end of Mark Jones"

“Listen, even if it is cancer, it’s not necessarily the end of Mark Jones,” Brynmor assures him, but Mark is convinced that 

"It will have spread everywhere by now"

with his luck it will have spread everywhere by now.   “That’s why you should phone the doctor,” he is told.

"They find something worse than I was expecting"

“But every time I go to the doctor, they find something worse than I was expecting,” he protests;  

"That's the reason you're still alive"

Brynmor points out that is the reason why he is still alive.   

"Please, Mark, phone the doctor"

He pleads with Mark to phone the doctor.

"Has Tyler been odd with you recently?"

Eifion brings Iolo a cup of tea to go with his sandwich and asks, “Has Tyler been odd with you recently?” and Iolo replies that he has been no more odd than usual.   “It’s something he said in the Deri – that I’ve deserved everything I’ve got recently.”

"He's just upset about the trousers"

Iolo imagines that he is just upset about the trousers, 

"I can't believe Cassie gave him £60"

and Eifion cannot believe that Cassie gave him £60 for them.   

"I bought them for £20 in the sales"

“I bought them for him,” Iolo protests, “For £20 in the sales.”   

"Now he deserves everything he gets!"

Eifion is now adamant that Tyler deserves everything he gets.

Dylan is in a hopeless position

Dylan is on his knees in the wood, with Gwyneth continuing to train the gun on him, as he insists, “Gwyneth killed Jaclyn!” 

"You expect me to believe that?"

but Garry is far from convinced of this.   

"You've seen the evidence – the Post-it note"

“You’ve seen the evidence – the Post-it note!” he continues.

"Anyone could have written that at any time"

Gwyneth maintains that anyone could have written that at any time, and Garry asks why he should trust a word that Dylan says;  

"You tried to kill me!"

“You tried to kill me!”   He demands that Gwyneth give him the gun as Gwyneth snarls that he was going to kill her.

"I've been waiting a long time for this"

Garry says that he has been waiting a long time for this and carefully aims the gun at Dylan’s head, 

Dylan fears that his end is nigh

understandably causing him extreme fear.   

"Go on, Garry, shoot him!"

Gwyneth urges Garry to shoot him, and Dylan himself challenges Garry, “Shoot me!” but despite all the encouragement, Garry will not do so.

"I don't want to fight any more – please, shoot me"

“I’m tired – I don’t want to fight any more – please, shoot me,” Dylan whimpers.

"Go away – and don't come back"

Garry replies, “No – go away – and don’t come back – don’t contact Dani – 

"Don't come anywhere near Cwmderi ever again!"

“and don’t come anywhere near Cwmderi ever again.   Now go!”   

Dylan scrambles to his feet . . .

Dylan complies with orders 

. . . and escapes with his life

and disappears into the wood as fast as his legs will carry him.   Gwyneth is extremely disappointed.

Mark has at last booked an appointment

Brynmor has stayed with Mark while he makes the phone call and is informed, “The appointment’s next week.”   Brynmor pleased to hear it, and Mark comments, 

"Mam will get first dibs on Dad's grave"

“At least if I'm still alive, Mam will get first dibs on Dad’s grave.”   

"We'll support you through everything"

Brynmor tries to persuade him that everything will be OK – they will support him through everything.

"Things get worse as we get older"

“I was hoping that I’d never have to go through anything like this again after having the kidney, but there we are, we have to accept that things get worse as we get older,” he groans.

Brynmor does not agree;  “Look at me – not too long ago I thought I’d come to the end of the road.   I was living in Brynawelon, but now . . .  

"Perhaps you'll find a sexy stunner like I did!"

“Perhaps you’ll find some sexy stunner in your 70s like I did.”

"You're talking about my Mam, you pig!"

Mark objects to Brynmor talking about his mother like that;  “Mother or not, she’s still a sexy stunner!” he insists, and Mark thinks it is about time he left.   

"I'll come to the appointment with you"

“I’ll come to the appointment with you if you like,” he offers as he leaves the house, 

Mark is now less worried

and Mark appears relieved.

They will have to form a committee

As they sit at the bar, Jinx proposes that Bethania will need a committee;  “It’s too much work for one person – and as I’m getting a small wage, we’ll need a treasurer to keep that in order.”   

Siôn asks Cassie if she fancies helping them to run Bethania.   

"I'll always be a pagan, thank God"

She points out that she is good at running things, but she is a pagan and will always be a pagan;  “Thank God.”   

"She doesn't believe in the chapel"

Siôn explains to Tyler that means she does not believe in the chapel, and Jinx says that he had been hoping for someone younger, 

"I heard that, Jinx!"

which Cassie finds somewhat offensive.

"He's tried to kill us both!"

As they walk through the wood, Gwyneth cannot believe that Garry let him go;  “He’s tried to kill us both!” she snarls, “Are you mad?   You were too much of a coward to do it!”

As they reach the car, she tells him to unlock the door, 

"Did you kill Jaclyn?"

and Garry turns to ask her outright, “Did you kill Jaclyn?”   She cannot believe that he asked that, but he demands that she answer the question.

Lying comes very easily to Gwyneth 

“No,” she replies, and he wants her to swear on Gwern’s life, which she does, effortlessly.   

"I'm going back to Newcastle"

“I’ll drop you off outside the village – I’m going back to Newcastle,” he says.

“What if Dylan comes back?” she demands, and he tells her to phone him.   

Gwyneth is disappointed

Rather disheartened she gets into the car 

They head back to Cwmderi

and they drive back towards Cwmderi.