19 October 2023

"You can recite off by heart now"

Anita is rehearsing her lines for the pampering party later;  Kelly groans, “Auntie Neet, you can recite it off by heart now.”   

"I want everything to be perfect"

Anita wants everything to be perfect and Kelly assures her that it will be perfect, “As perfect as a presentation for a pamper party can be!”

"I don't think you've been listening to me"

Anita gets the impression that Kelly has not been listening to her and is told that of course she has;  “I’m multi-tasking, because someone has to keep this house in order.”

"Are you stressed?"

“Are you stressed,” Anita demands, “You know what?   I’ve got just the thing for you – Sandalwood Oil – I’ve been using it all week.”   

"I wondered what the funny smell was"

Kelly had been wondering what the funny smell was and is scolded by Anita, who points out that it is a perfume.

“Oil from the sandalwood tree – listen – you’ve got Santalum Album – that comes from India and then we’ve got Santalum Spicatum, and that comes from Australia.”

"What are these papers?"

Kelly is much more interested in some papers which she has just discovered;  “They’re papers from the council for Diane – Ieuan wanted me to leave them here, so she can read them when she gets back,” Anita explains, “They’re planning applications – I think Eileen has one there.”

"Eileen is expanding her empire, I see"

On further investigation, Kelly finds it and comments, “Eileen is expanding her empire, I see,” 

"It's a chicken shed or something"

and when told that it is a chicken shed or something, 

"Battery house, I expect"

assumes that it will be a battery house.   She looks defiant.

"It was carbon monoxide"

Outside the Deri, Colin and Britt, who have just returned from hospital, reveal that their problem was caused by carbon monoxide;  “We could have died there and then,” explains Britt.

"So you didn't get spiked?"

Cassie knows now that they did not get ‘spiked’ and Colin is eager to point out that they had complained to Hywel about the boiler;  

"But you know how tight he is!"

“But you know how tight he is!” adds Britt.

"I hope the place is safe now"

Jinx hopes that the place is safe now, but they cannot contact Hywel, so they are moving back temporarily to the flat above MFC;  “It’s not ideal, but at least we’ll be safe.”

Jinx says that the authorities will be after Hywel if he has been negligent;  

"He'll have more than that to worry about"

“Authorities?” sneers Britt, “He’ll have more than that to worry about when I get hold of him!   And it’s about time Jinx realised that, too!”

"No, you mean Hywel"

Colin points out that she means Hywel;  “The doctor said the poisoning could cause some confusion.”

"Come on, Col!"

As Britt drags Colin away, 

"I'm glad it's nothing to do with the Deri"

Cassie sighs, “Well, I’m glad that it’s nothing to do with the Deri – but I wouldn’t like to be Hywel Llywelyn, with her on the warpath!”

Ieuan is dousing himself with something

In the Tomos ac Ellis office, Ieuan is spraying something on himself as Kelly walks in.   

"Let me guess – sandalwood"

“OK – let me guess – sandalwood!” she says, but he tells her that it is bergamot and orange, which he maintains smells nice.

"Try that – what do you think?"

“They do a hand cream for men as well – try that – what do you think?” he continues.   

"You're taking this 'Meddal' too seriously"

Kelly suggests that he and Auntie Anita are taking this ‘Meddal’ business too seriously, 

"It's a good way of making money"

but he regards it as a good way of making money.”

"And so is running a chicken farm"

“Yeah – running a chicken farm is a good way of making money, too,” she comments, “Oh, yeah, “I’ve heard about Eileen’s plans.   

"Massive industrial chicken prison"

“So what’s your opinion on her erecting a massive industrial chicken prison?”

"I haven't read the plans properly yet"

Griffiths maintains that he has not read the plans properly yet;  “Between listening to Anita practising her speech for the pamper party and everything else, I haven’t had a chance.”

"Hasn't it gone slightly 'under the radar'?"

Kelly wonders, “Is it me though – or has the planning application gone slightly ‘under the radar?   Why am I only hearing about it now?   Know what I mean?”

"The plans are probably online, too"

He is sure that the council has taken the correct steps and let the neighbours know, in accordance with the usual protocol;  “The plans are probably online, too.”

"Something still smells really fishy"

“I don’t know – something still smells really fishy,” concludes Kelly, but Ieuan wishes Eileen good luck.   He argues that the more businesses there are in the area, the better it is for everyone.

"It depends on what the businesses are, doesn't it?"

“It depends on what the businesses are, doesn’t it?” she comments 

He hopes she is not going digging

and Griffiths looks rather troubled.

In MFC, Britt does not sound very happy as she is speaking on the phone;  “No, of course not!” she exclaims, “OK, I’ll see you this afternoon.”   

"It's the health and safety!"

When she puts down the phone she informs Colin, “The council’s health and safety department – they’ve received a complaint.   Someone was ill after eating here and they said the place was dirty!”

"That's not true"

Colin knows that is not the case, but Britt worries, “What if one of the chickens had salmonella?”   

"I have to clean the place!"

She hurries to the door and turns round the site to read ‘closed’.   “I have to clean the place!” she shouts, and he urges her to calm down.

"They can't just turn up willy-nilly!"

“They can’t just turn up here willy-nilly!” he insists, but she emphasises that they can do whatever they want;  she fears that they will shut the place down and how that will affect their fostering prospects.

"They'll never let us be foster parents"

“No, they’ll never let us be foster parents if I lose my business because of negligence!” she exclaims.

The pamper party is beginning

Some more ladies are welcomed to the pamper party;  Ieuan is sitting there, looking extremely bored, and Mathew is also helping out.   Cassie does not recognise most of them, so Anita maintains that her flyers have worked – she sent out to 50 of them.

"I hope they don't all turn up"

Cassie hopes that they do not all turn up – she does not want 50 strangers here.   “Listen now, Cassie, I want to thank you for letting me hold of the night here – 

"The Deri will benefit as well"

“but as I said the Deri will benefit from the night as well.”

Then she begins her much-rehearsed speech;  

Anita begins her speech

“Can I have your attention, please,” she says, “Thank you all for coming – 

"Thanks to Mathew"

“and thanks to Mathew, here, for agreeing to be a model for me this evening.   

"'Meddal' was established last year

“Meddal is a local company which was established last year in order to provide . . .”   

Kelly knows the script better than she does 

Then she realises that she should have said that it was established two years ago.

Now she is getting flustered

She repeats herself and then becomes flustered before resuming, “The aim of the woman who established the company is to develop a wide range of products that would be suitable for everyone.”   

Has Kelly dropped off to sleep?

Kelly, amongst others, is looking somewhat uninterested, as Anita rambles on, “Products for men – as well as women, of course.   There are more than 400 items in total.”

"40, not 400, Anita!"

Ieuan has to remind her that she said 40 earlier;  

"Too many zeros!"

“What’s wrong with me?” she laughs, “Too many zeros!”

Britt sees someone coming . . .

At MFC, Britt is industriously cleaning the place when she sees a man approaching the shop 

. . . towards the door . . .

and assumes that he is from the council.   

. . . but then he changes direction

However at the last minute he walks straight past, much to her relief.

Jinx comes in

Then the door opens and Jinx walks in, so he is advised that they are not open at the moment.   

"I don't know when we shall be open"

Her phone rings and she tells another customer that they are not able to open.

“You seem a bit stressed, Britt – are you all right?” he enquires.

"There's been a complaint!"

She replies that she thought it was them – the health and safety;  “There’s been a complaint – they could shut us down.”   Jinx is sorry to hear about that and sympathises that knows exactly how she feels.

"Was it Mr Rheinallt Jones?"

“Was it Mr Rheinallt Jones who phoned?   I know him – yes I know the old Rheinallt – someone’s complained about the chickens in MFC, have they?   

"We'll have to come over and take a look"

“We’ll have to come over and take a look,” he says, in the same voice which Britt remembers from earlier.

"It was you!"

“It was you!” she snarls, and he is surprised that she did not twig earlier;  he was a little worried about the accent.   “So why?” Britt demands.

"Being deceived is not a nice feeling, is it?"

“Being deceived is not a nice feeling, is it?   

"So I was right – it was you"

“So I was right – it was you,” 

Britt simply glares at him

and she glowers at him.

"That is the history go the company"

Anita is still droning on about the history of the company and Kelly is not the only person who is getting tired of this.   No-one seems to have any questions about what she has said, 

"Shall we take a short break?"

so Cassie suggests that they should take a short break to wet their whistles;  “I’m sure Anita needs one after all that talking.   Let’s go to the bar, shall we?”

"I have some free samples"

Anita reminds them to come back because she has some free samples.   

"I might as well give up now!"

Then she turns to Mathew and groans, “I might as well give up now!”   

"It wasn't that bad"

When he maintains that it was not that bad, she goes on, “I’ve been to funerals that were more fun.”

"You just need to be more confident"

He advises that she just needs to be more confident;  

"I need to be someone who isn't me!"

“I need to be someone who isn’t me!” she snarls, and he agrees that is the problem.

"You need to be someone like . . . Beyoncé"

“You need to be someone like . . . Beyoncé – she created this stage persona called Sasha Fierce – it helped her to stop being shy when she performed in front of thousands of people.   

"Channel your inner Beyoncé"

“All you have to do is pretend it’s not you talking – but someone completely different.   Channel your inner Beyoncé, Anita!”

"I should go straight to the police"

Jinx continues, “I should go straight to the police,” 

"Well, go ahead, then"

so Britt tells him to go ahead and do that – she does not care.   

"You made my life hell"

“You’ve made my life hell these last few weeks – you almost ruined my business – what I want to know is why?” he demands.

She accuses him of starting all this;  

"If you hadn't stolen Gwern's inheritance"

“If you hadn’t stolen Gwern’s inheritance, none of this would have happened.”   

"I have not stolen anything"

He makes it clear that he has not stolen anything;  he does not know why Gwyneth left him the house.

"It was to get back at the Monks!"

“I can tell you exactly why – to get back at the Monks!” growls Britt, “She hated us so much, she was even happy to leave her own son without a roof over his head!   And you played right into her hands.”

He reiterates that he did not ask for this;  “But you didn’t refuse it either, did you?   And because of that, Gwern has lost everything – 

"He's got no chance of starting a new life now"

“you know he’s got no chance of starting a new life now.”

Kelly has to pick up Ifan

In the bar at the Deri, Kelly tells the childminder that she is coming now and she passes Ieuan, who is talking to Eileen.   

"You were talking about Eileen's chicken farm"

“You were talking about it earlier, weren’t you, Kelly?” he says, “Eileen’s chicken farm.”

"How did you come to hear of it?"

Eileen wonders how she came to hear of it;  

"Through the grapevine, you know"

“Oh, through the grapevine, you know,” she answers.

"We need more female entrepreneurs"

“We need more female entrepreneurs in the area,” Griffiths continues, “Like Anita and this pampering business,” but Eileen considers that her plans are rather more ambitious than that.   “Eileen says that these sheds will be among the biggest in the area,” Griffiths adds.

"Exactly what size?"

Kelly would like to know exactly what size, and he simply says, “The largest you can get – there’s no point in half measures.   You need scale to run a successful business.”

"As long as the environment doesn't suffer"

“As long as the environment doesn’t suffer,” Kelly interjects, 

"This is chicken sheds, not Chernobyl!"

and is disparagingly informed by Eileen that they are talking about chicken sheds, not Chernobyl.

"Can you give me a lift, please?"

Kelly asks Ieuan, “I need to pick up Ifan from the childminder – can you give me a lift, please, and take me back to Bryntirion?   I can recite the rest of Anita’s speech to you in the car – I’ve heard it, like, a thousand times!”   Eileen encourages him to go and she will tell Anita.

"Same people who were pranking Jinx, guaranteed"

In the MFC flat, Colin reminds Britt that he told her there was no need to panic;  “It was the same people who were pranking Jinx, guaranteed.”

"No, it was Jinx himself!"

She enlightens him that it was in fact Jinx;  “He found out that it was me who was pranking him – to get back at him for taking Gwyneth’s house from Gwern.   I was so angry with him!”

"Why didn't you tell me?"

He demands why she did not tell him;  

"I knew you would have tried to stop me"

“Because I knew you would have tried to stop me,” she answers.

“Yes, I probably would, but I’d rather share the burden than think about you suffering on your own!” Colin insists, 

"Promise you won't hide anything from me again"

“Oh, Britt, look, promise me now, OK?   That you won’t hide anything from me again.”

"You see it sinks into the skin"

Anita is now demonstrating rubbing some cream into Mathew’s arm;  “You see it sinks into the skin.”   He agrees that it feels very nice and that she continues her sales pitch, “You see, girls, if you want to bag yourself a boyfriend, Meddal is the way to go.”   

Mathew suggests that he could get used to this, and Anita has plenty of free samples, 

"Mathew is not one of the free gifts!"

although she stipulates that Mathew is not one of them.   She asks him to take round the basket of samples.

Then Anita finds a jacket left on one of the chairs;  

"Cassie, have you hooked yourself a man?"

“Cassie – have you hooked yourself a man already?   Tell us who he is.”

"Rhys – he has nowhere else to go"

Cassie replies that it is Rhys, who is staying there because he has nowhere else to go.

"I was glad of the excuse to leave"

Griffiths has brought Kelly back to Bryntirion and Ifan has been quickly settled;  “I was glad of the excuse to leave that pampering party,” he says and Kelly agrees that it was painful.

He notes the planning applications

Then he notices the planning applications on the table and comments that they are supposed to be for Diane.   Kelly looks at him;  

"Promise to tell the truth?"

“OK – if I ask you a question, you have to promise – cross your heart and hope to die – that sort of thing – to tell me the truth?”   

"It depends on the question"

He answers that it depends on the question.   

"Have you taken a backhander from Eileen?"

“Have you taken a backhander from Eileen on the chicken farm application?”   He is horrified by the question and denies that he has.

"You've got a bit of form, haven't you?"

“You’ve got a bit of form, haven’t you, Ieuan?” she stresses, “You know, trying to sell the Deri, for example.   There’s just something in my water telling me the whole thing stinks!   

"It's odd that it's been kept hush-hush"

“Don’t you think it’s odd it’s been kept hush-hush?   Just tell me the truth – right?   Has this planning application being treated like every other planning application?”

"Perhaps it has been fast-tracked a little"

He confesses that perhaps it has been fast-tracked a little;  “But that’s not to say someone’s accepted a backhander.”   

"Exactly what I expected"

This is exactly what she expected, 

"We councillors are clean and honest people"

as he goes on to assure her, “We councillors are clean and honest people.”

She looks at him in an incredulous manner . . .

Kelly looks at him very askance 

. . . and he decides to make himself scarce

and he considers that it is high time he got back to Anita.

"No, that's the wrong figure, Anita"

She is taking orders from her party guests and Mathew points out a mistake on her screen.   

"Thank you for coming, girls"

She thanks the girls for coming and is running out of products already;  “I shall have to order double next time.”

"I said you'd make a success of it"

He was confident that she would make a success of it, and Cassie cannot understand what happened to her halfway through the presentation;  

"You were like another woman"

“You were like another woman.”   Mathew maintains that is due to Beyoncé, which Cassie finds puzzling, 

Anita has a gift for her

but she is given a bag of products to thank her for allowing the party tonight.

"It's busy in the bar tonight"

Cassie has to get back to the bar, as it is busy tonight.   Anita does not think that she has enjoyed herself so much for ages;  

"I might have to give up my job in Tamed . . ."

“I think I might have to give up my job in Tamed, because I’m determined to make this Meddal business a success.”

She goes so far as to say, “And if things carry on like this, 

". . . even give up my job in APD as well!"

“I might have to give up my job in APD as well!”   

Mathew does not welcome this

Mathew does not like the sound of this.

"I wanted a quiet word with you"

Kelly is surprised when Eileen comes visiting;  “I just wanted a quiet word with you,” she says, 

"I don't want the word to get out"

“About the planning application – the thing is, I don’t want word to get out.”

"Why could that possibly be?"

Kelly wonders why that could possibly be;  “Look, Kelly, we understand each other, don’t we?   I thought we were friends, after what happened with Howard.   

"I just want one favour here"

“I just want one favour here.”

"I know you paid a back-hander"

Kelly laughs, “Oh, Eileen, I know you paid someone on the council a back-hander to keep the chicken farm application quiet – and I also know you didn’t follow the normal protocols, or the application would be online for all to see – and it’s not!   

"Care to explain?"

“Care to explain?”

"It's nothing to do with anyone else"

Eileen replies, “With all due respect, it’s nothing to do with anyone else.”

"The rest of their lives in absolute misery"

“With all due respect, Eileen, I’m just worried about the poor little chickens that will spend the rest of their lives in absolute misery.   

"I will fight you to the bitter end!"

“One chance – withdraw that application, or I promise you, I will fight you to the bitter end!

Eileen leaves without a further word

This is not what Eileen wanted to hear, so she turns and immediately leaves the house.