10 July 2025

The house in Anglesey

Rhys’ car pulls up outside a white house out in the countryside;  

"Are you ready?"

he looks at Mathew and asks if he is ready.   As there is no reply, he suggests they could go for a coffee first, if he wants;  

"No, I have to do this now"

“No,” says Mathew, firmly, “I have to do this now.”

He gets out of the car . . . 

He unbuckles his seatbelt and gets out of the car;  

. . . and his mother is watching

his mother is watching from inside the house as he slowly approaches, opening the gate, 

The gate squeaks . . .

which squeaks 

. . . which brings back memories

and brings back memories to him.

"Are you OK, Math?"

Rhys shouts from the car to ask if he is OK;  Mathew closes the gate again and rapidly retreats towards the car.   

"Are you going to come in?"

His mother comes out of the house and calls to him, “Are you going to come in?”

He sees familiar items around him . . .

Inside there are various old things, including a gramophone and an old telephone, as he walks into the house, 

. . . which evoke memories

evoking memories of many years ago.   

His grandfather's funeral

Then he notices an order of service from his grandfather’s funeral.

"It's lovely to see you again"

His mother tells him that it is lovely to see him again and asks whether he would like a cup of tea.   

The kettle whistles merrily

The kettle is whistling as he takes a seat in the kitchen, 

Mathew does not speak . . . 

but he does not say anything, 

. . . but notices the dripping tap

simply noticing the dripping tap.

"Would you prefer coffee?"

His mother hands him a cup of tea, wondering whether he would prefer coffee;  “It’s only instant, but it’s nice – expensive.”   

"Sit down, Mam"

He tells her that tea is fine and wants her to sit down.

"Did you drive up this morning?"

“How are you?” she enquires, “Did you drive up this morning?   There isn’t much traffic at that time of the morning, is there?   Thanks for coming, Mathew – do you want a biscuit?   I’ve got Hobnobs, Penguins – and there’s some Bara Brith somewhere.”

"I'm not here to share biscuits with you"

Mathew insists, “I’m not here to share biscuits with you,” so she wonders why he is there.   

"I want to know why you left me"

“Because I want to know why you left me.”

"It was a mistake"

She maintains that it was a mistake, as she has already told him, but he regards mixing up salt and sugar as a mistake, “Not turning your back on your son.”   She reminds him that the whole thing is so long ago now.

"I haven't heard from you for nearly a quarter of a century"

“Exactly – I haven’t heard from you for almost a quarter of a century – have you thought about me at all during that time?”   

"Of course I have – every day!"

She angrily replies that of course she has, every day.

"Why didn't you get in touch sooner?"

“So why didn’t you try to get in touch sooner, then?” he demands and his mother unconvincingly explains that she did not think he would want her to do so.   “And what’s different now?”is Mathew’s next question.

"Things changed after Taid died"

“Things changed after Taid died,” is her reply.

"All of a sudden, you remember you have a son"

“Right, so the only member of the family you have left dies and, all of a sudden, you remember you have a son.”   Melfa argues that it is not like that, so he wants to know what it is like.

"Ieuan's message gave me some hope"

“After Ieuan Griffiths contacted me last year, Dad – your grandfather, was here, but he was ill.   Ieuan’s message gave me some hope – I thought perhaps you and I could . . . I don’t know . . . talk again.   That’s why I sent you a message, 

"You didn't reply – and I respected that"

“but you didn’t reply, and I respected that.   And then after dad died, I was clearing the house, going through old photos, reminiscing – and that’s when I realised just how much I’d missed you.   I started to grieve, if you like, for all the time that we’ve lost.”

"And whose fault was that?"

“And whose fault was that?” Mathew snaps, “You decide that you didn’t want anything to do with me.”   She urges him to give her a chance to make up for it, then.

"You can't turn up after all these years"

“You can’t turn your back on your child and then turn up after all of these years without any explanation!” he exclaims.

"I've regretted it every day"

She acknowledges that she should never have had the affair or run away, like she did – but she has regretted it every day.

"Dad confirmed everything you said"

Mathew reveals that he has spoken to his father;  “He confirmed everything you said about coming to Bangor and he also said that I used to come here to stay with you after your relationship with that headteacher ended.   And since being here, I’ve started to remember things.

"Nesquik banana milkshakes"

“I remember you making me cheese toasties at that table there – I remember Nesquik banana milkshakes.   Why did you stop me coming here?   This is your chance to explain.”

"Things were complicated"

“Things were complicated between your father and me,” she begins, 

"Don't blame Dad"

but Mathew tells her not to blame his father, as he was happy for Matthew to go there.

“It was you – you didn’t want to see me!”   

"That's not true, Mathew"

His mother is adamant that is not true.   “Dad said that you dumped me at home one morning.   You dumped me at home and said you didn’t want to see me again.   

"What sort of mother does that?"

“What sort of mother does that?”

"I had no choice"

Melfa argues that she had no choice;  “After the affair, I didn’t have my own home, I didn’t have a job – I was completely dependent on Dad for everything.”

"One excuse after another with you"

Mathew snarls that it is one excuse after another with her, 

"Stop that now!"

but she orders him, “Stop that now!”

"Difficult for you, is it?"

He imagines that this is difficult for her;  “Difficult to hear how much you hurt me?   You should have thought of that before breaking all contact.”   

"I don't want to talk about it"

His mother shakes her head and will not talk about it.

“Because you’re too ashamed?”   She answers that it was a difficult time for her and Matthew cannot believe that she is just concerned that it was too difficult for her – 

"You walked away from me!"

“I lost my mother!   You walked away from me!   I’ve lived every day blaming myself, thinking I’d done something wrong – 

"I wasn't important enough to you"

“that I wasn’t important enough to you!”

"Don't you ever blame yourself!"

Melfa makes it very plain, “Don’t you ever blame yourself – you didn’t do anything wrong – I left you to keep you safe!”

"How did that keep me safe?"

He cannot understand what she is talking about;  “How did dumping me with Dad keep me safe?”   

Collecting her cigarettes, she walks out

She refuses to say any more and, as she walks out of the house, 

"Mam, don't walk away!"

he continues shouting, “Why was I safer with Dad than with you?   Mam, don’t walk away!   Come back!”

Rhys is watching . . .

Rhys is watching as she comes out of the house as far as the gate.

. . . while Mathew simply sits there

Inside, Mathew sits down.

"Are you Mathew's friend"

As she lights up a cigarette, Rhys gets out of the car to talk to her and she assumes that he is Mathew’s friend.   

"I was in APD when you came to Cwmderi"

“His best friend, Rhys – I was in APD when you came to Cwmderi.”   

"I just needed some . . ."

She is sorry that he had to see that, adding that she needed some . . .

"Fresh air?"

“Fresh air?” suggests Rhys, and is doubtful that things are OK.   

"We've been reminiscing"

She replies that they have just had a cup of tea and have been reminiscing.   

"Mathew is 'champion'"

She reassures him that Mathew is ‘champion’.

Mathew is thinking

However, inside the house, Mathew looks far from ‘champion’;  

. . . and seems to hear a harp playing

in his mind, he can hear a harp playing.

"It took four and a half hours . . ."

“It took four and a half hours – I can’t believe it’s 2025 and there’s still no sensible road from north to south.   

". . . and by train you have to go through England!"

“And if you get a train, you have to go through England – how does that make sense?   Math hardly said a word on the way up – apart from ordering two hash browns in the drive-through – 

"He's been dreading coming here"

“he was dreading coming here today, you know.   He hasn’t said anything really and I have no idea what’s going on.   He’s been sleeping on our sofa since last week, refusing to go to work, refusing to see his girlfriend, Sioned.

"I'm really worried about him"

“Now, I don’t know what happened between you, but I’m really worried about him.   It took a lot of guts for Math to come here today – 

"I just hope this has not been a mistake"

“I just hope that this has not been a mistake.”

A rather scratchy record is playing

Inside the house, there is now a record playing on the gramophone;  

The camera moves across to where . . .

the camera scans past the other items on the shelf 

Mathew is looking up that staircase

to where Mathew is looking up the very precarious spiral staircase towards what was his bedroom.

"I hoped it would have made him nostalgic"

Meanwhile, outside, Melfa tells Rhys, “When you arrived this morning, I thought, I was hoping, that seeing me in Cwmderi had made him nostalgic.”

"About the woman who ditched him twice?"

“About what?   The woman who ditched him twice?”wonders Rhys.   

"I never intended to do that"

She maintains that she never intended to do that, 

"It'[s not me that needs to hear this, is it?"

but he stops her there, pointing out, “It’s not me that needs to hear this, is it?”

She turns around and goes back into the house, 

Mathew opens the bedroom door . . .

where Mathew is now upstairs and peers cautiously into his old bedroom, 

. . . and remembers his toys there

where he imagines he sees his toys placed on the cupboard.   

He is seized with fear

He appears frightened as he remembers what happened in there;  

The wallpaper which he scraped off

there is a strip of wallpaper which has been scratched off the wall.

He relives feet coming in through the door . . .

In his mind, he can see feet coming in through the door 

. . . his grandfather looking at him . . .

and a vision of his grandfather looking at him, closing the curtains 

. . . then turning off the light

and turning off the light.   Now he remembers what happened.

"Are you still here, Mathew?"

Downstairs, his mother cannot find him and calls to him, “Are you still here?”   

She, too, looks up the stairs

Then she, too, looks up that precipitous staircase.

Mathew is panic-stricken . . .

Matthew is reliving the traumatic events of his childhood, extremely frightened 

. . . as re remembers the curtains being closed

as he sees the curtains being closed again 

. . . and his grandfather's face

and his grandfather’s face.

Then a brief glimpse of his mother

He has a brief glimpse of his mother opening the door, then, after seeing what was going on, quickly closing it again.   Then the light goes off and all is in darkness.

Melfa walks in

Coming back to the present, Melfa walks into the bedroom where Mathew is sitting;  

"I know what happened, Mam!"

“I know, Mam!” he tells her, “I know what happened.”   

"This is where I slept, wasn't it?"

She did not think that he remembered and he agrees that he did not, really – until he walked into the room.

“This is where I slept, isn’t it, when I came to stay?   It smells the same – I did that on the wall.”   She urges him not to think about it, 

"You were here!"

but he continues, “I can see him walking in.   You know exactly what I’m talking about because you were here –

"I saw you, looking at me"

“ I saw you, standing in the doorway, looking at me as if I was dirty.   

“You saw what he was doing – you saw what Taid was doing – and you did nothing!  

"You turned your back when I needed you most!"

“You turned your back on me when I needed you most!”   His mother says that she froze and could not believe what she was seeing, but Mathew sobs, “You chose to close the door and leave me here.”

"I was frightened"

She maintains that she panicked and turned her back without thinking;  “I was frightened,” 

"I knew I had to do something"

but he accuses her of ignoring it.   “I was going to come back in and do something, but he came out and said he was just tucking you in to get you off to sleep.   I was in shock, but I knew I had to do something – and I made sure he didn’t come back into your room.

"I carried you out to the car"

“I waited for him to fall asleep – you were fast asleep by then as well.   I lifted you in my arms and carried you out to the car.”

"To take me home and dump me"

“To take me home and dump me,” growls Mathew, but she insists that she did not have a plan. I did not know what she was going to do.   She drove all the way to Comins Coch [just outside Aberystwyth] and Mathew slept the whole way.

"It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do"

“I sat in the car for so long after getting there, while you were snoring in the back seat, then the sun came up and I knew your Dad would be awake.   It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.   I carried you to the house and told your father that you were never to come up here again.”

"Why didn't you just tell the truth?"

“Why didn’t you just tell the truth?” Mathew wants to know.

Melfa replies that Ray would have killed his grandfather;  “You know what he’s like – and I didn’t want to cause you any more pain – more fighting and argument.   That's why I left you – not because I didn’t love you, but because I wanted to protect you, to keep you safe 

"I didn't want him to do anything worse to you"

“and I didn’t want him to do anything worse to you.”

"Too late – that wasn't the first time"

Mathew sobs that she was too late;  “That wasn’t the first time!”   He is in floods of tears as he tells his mother that he was frightened, but flinches when she tries to touch him.

"Don't touch me!"

He jumps up, shouting, “Don’t touch me!” as he rushes from the bedroom and his mother promises that she never would have let him continue to come there if she had known.

"Why would Dad organise the posters?"

Outside, Rhys is speaking on the phone to Kelly;  “Why would Dad organise the posters?   I thought Lleucu and Jinx were sorting all that stuff.”

Mathew hurries out

Then Mathew hurries out of the door in a terrible state, so he has to terminate the call.   

"Get me out of here now!"

“Get me out of here now!” Mathew shouts, 

"There's so much we need to discuss, Mathew"

as his mother pleads with him not to go as there is so much more that they need to discuss.

Rhys gets into the driver’s seat and accelerates the car away from the house as quickly as he can.   

In tears, she watches them go . . .

Melfa is left in tears, watching them go.   

. . . speeding along the country roads . . .

The car speeds along the country roads,

. . . back to Cwmderi

on its long journey back to Cwmderi.