2 January 2024

The director gives her final instructions

In the Deri, Cassie is instructing the cast of the panto, “You finish getting dressed and putting on your make-up, then we’ll go to Bethania – there’s plenty of time.”

"We haven't rehearsed the last scene much"

Mark is concerned that they have not rehearsed the last scene much, so she summarises, “Siôn Blewyn Coch and Siân Slei Bach have escaped from Eban and Lisa – they’re at home, they’ve fed the clubs and everyone’s happy.   There’s a song at the end and that’s it!”

"I'd like to try that song again"

Mark would still like to rehearse that song again before the performance 

"Which song is that?"

and Diane cannot even remember which song it is.   “Deryn y Bwn,” she is told, with a note of irritation creeping into Cassie’s voice, “Now hurry up so we can go to Bethania.”

Then they become aware of some shouting coming from outside, 

"Right, I'll go and see"

so Cassie will go to investigate.   

Eileen is equipped with a megaphone

Eileen, equipped with a megaphone, is walking past Bethania with a group of like-minded villagers, shouting repeatedly, “No to Panto!”

Cassie is determined

Cassie emerges from the Deri with a look of determination;  

They are blocking access to Bethania 

a horse-box has been parked outside the chapel and various people come out to see what the noise is.   

"I can't hear myself think!"

Among them is Colin, who leaves the shop and cannot believe what he is seeing;  he approaches Eileen, complaining, “Heavens above – I can’t hear myself think!   What do you think you’re doing?”

Ieuan Griffiths is also following the protesters, but at a safe distance, 

"Your customers are complaining"

as Colin goes on to point out to Eileen, “Your customers are complaining.”      

"You can't park there!"

Cassie maintains that they cannot park in that position as access to the vestry is required.

"We have the right to protest"

“We have the right to protest!” Eileen insists, 

"What – against a Community Panto?"

but Cassie ridicules the idea that they are protesting against a Community Panto.   

The chanting resumes

Their only response is a resumption of their repetitive chanting.

“Couldn’t you think of a better slogan?” taunts Cassie, “This Panto is for charity!”   Colin urges Eileen to stop this and calls upon Griffiths to intervene, 

"The council supports the individual's right to protest"

but his answer is that the council supports an individual’s right to protest.

“What about everybody else’s rights?” Colin demands, “A councillor’s performing!”   

"I'll give you and your cronies half an hour to leave!"

Cassie wonders about the rights of children to watch the Panto;  she gives Eileen and her cronies half an hour to leave.

Furiously, Eileen shouts, “You’re the one destroying my good name!   

"This blinking' Panto is a protest against hunting!"

“Siôn Blewyn Coch – he’s a fox – this blinkin’ Panto is a protest against hunting!”

Cassie disputes this, but Eileen is adamant that they have a right to protest against it and in favour of keeping old rural traditions alive.   

Off she goes again

Then she picks up her megaphone and leads her followers in their continuing chant.   Griffiths quietly walks away, unwilling to get involved.

"You're only supposed to boil what you need"

The uneasy situation at Llwyncelyn continues as Gaynor complains that Hywel has boiled too much water;  “You are only supposed to boil what you need.”   

He points out that he thought she would want to make a coffee for herself as well and asks what is wrong with her;  

"Are you sulking because Mark Jones finished with you?"

“Are you sulking that Mark Jones finished with you?” he smiles, “You have the house to yourself now – 

"You can phone him to come over"

“you can phone him and ask him to come over.   Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me – 

"If it is a secret!"

“if it is a secret!”   

Gaynor does not appreciate this

Naturally this does not go down well with Gaynor.

"We've got a rehearsal"

Mark is becoming upset about this blockade;  “How long are you going to be?   We’ve got a rehearsal.”   

"You're not going to appear on stage today!"

Eileen confidently predicts that they are not going to appear on stage today, and when Cassie remind her that she is not allowed to block the road, she replies that there is plenty of room for cars to pass.

"What's wrong with you, Eileen?"

Diane wonders what is wrong with them, “And at the start of the New Year, too.”   Eileen is adamant that they are not going on stage to spread propaganda against her and the hunt.   She is quite aware why they have dressed up as foxes.

"What if we staged 'Wil Cwac Cwac'?"

“We’re staging an old Welsh story,” snarls Cassie, “Would you will hold this stupid protest if we staged ‘Wil Cwac Cwac’?”   [Welsh children’s story, obviously about a duck]

That vicious dog does not look very viscious

Mark tries to make a break through the ‘picket line’, but is prevented by the dog accompanying one of Eileen’s ‘cronies’.   She congratulates the dog.

Hywel comes upon this scene and wonders what is going on;  when asked to do something about it, as he is a councillor, 

"It's nothing to do with me . . ."

he insists it is nothing to do with him,

". . . Diane's a councillor as well"

pointing out that Diane is also a councillor.

“I’m performing – I don’t have time to sort this out,” she explains 

"They have a perfect right to peacefully protest"

and Hywel reminds Cassie that they have a perfect right to peacefully protest.

"There's nothing peaceful about this"

She points out that there is nothing peaceful about this, and Diane notices that they are parking illegally.   Hywel insist that he is elected to represent everyone.   Mark again attempts to reach Bethania, but is again prevented by the dog, so Cassie tells them, “If the councillors will not do anything, I’m sure the police will have something to say – about this dangerous dog!”

"You're not dangerous, are you?"

Eileen strokes the dog, commenting, “You’re not dangerous, are you?   You’re a good boy.”   Cassie knows that she has no other recourse but to call in the police.

"It's true, then – you have moved back in"

Colin appears to have retreated to the safety of Llwyncelyn, and sarcastically remarks to Gaynor, “Oh, it’s true, then – you have moved back in.”   She reminds him that it is her house, 

"I hear there's been a huge falling out"

and he gleefully goes on, “I hear there’s been a huge falling out!”

"Are you here to make fun of me?"

She wonders if he has come there to make fun of her and although he insists that is not the case, 

"You and Mark Jones!"

he cannot stop himself from giggling, “You and Mark Jones!”   Then he gets to the point of his visit, asking whether he can have a quick shower, explained that they have a leak in the kitchen 

"I don't want to trip the electrics"

and he does not want the shower to drip through and trip the electrics.

“It happened during the storm on Christmas Day and I’m worried I may have made things a little bit worse, so I don’t want to trouble Hywel.”   

"Yes, all right"

Gaynor grants him his request and as he goes upstairs 

"All right to have a shave as well?"

he adds, “Is it all right to have a shave as well?”

"And good riddance, too!"

Apparently the threat to call the police was enough to defuse the problem and the last Toyota 4x4 is driving away, with Britt shouting, “And good riddance, too!   It works every time!”

That dog nearly killed me!"

Mark is still in a state of panic, maintaining, “That dog nearly killed me!   Did you see its teeth?   I’m not sure I can perform now.” 

Then key goes into the lock . . .

Cassie inserts the key into the door of Bethania, 

. . . but meets with an obstruction 

but something is stopping it.   

"Someone has put glue in it"

Mark discovers that someone has put glue into the lock.   

The same has happened to the vestry door

They try the vestry door and Mark goes round the back, but they find the same problem in each case.   

"I know who's responsible!"

Cassie can see that it is sabotage – and she knows who is responsible.

Britt suggests they should call a locksmith, but it is pointed out that they do not have the time for that, especially at New Year.   

Britt proposes breaking and entering

Britt’s next, rather extreme, suggestion that they could find something at APD with which to break down the door, but this is dismissed as sacrilege to the chapel doors.

"Well, perhaps it's for the best"

“Well, perhaps it’s for the best, seeing that we haven’t rehearsed the end yet,” Mark observes, but is reminded that people have bought tickets.   

They have a quandary 

There does not seem to be any answer to their problem.

The food has attracted Griffiths

Eileen and Howard have returned to Penrhewl, where Griffiths has joined them (presumably hoping for some food).   

He obviously can read some things

Howard finds a message on his phone that the Panto has been cancelled.   (He must be able to read a few words, in that case).   “Countryside people have found a way!” he comments 

"You haven't done something, have you?"

and Griffiths suspects that the two of them have done something, but of course they deny it

“They wouldn’t just cancel on a whim – they were determined,” Ieuan points out, 

"This is nothing to do with you?"

“So this is nothing to do with you?”   

"I'm just protecting my good name"

Eileen insists that all she has done is to protect her good name and she that has a perfect right to do so.

They consider their options

As they sit in the Deri, considering the situation, Diane imagines that some people would be willing to give their ticket money as a contribution 

Dai and Hob are appraised of the situation

and at that moment Hywel and Dai come in.   They are informed that the performance has been cancelled.

"Cancelled?   What are you on about?"

“Cancelled?   What are you on about?” demands Dai.   He is told that they cannot perform in the chapel, 

"Eileen 'just stop the Panto' Probert has left"

but protests, “Eileen ‘just stop the Panto’ Probert has left.”   

"She superglued the locks"

Cassie replies that she has superglued the locks before leaving.

Diane has just informed Megan of the damage, who has let the deacons know, but there is nothing they can do, so Cassie is forced to admit defeat.   

"Not going to let Eileen win, are you?"

“You’re not going to let Eileen win, are you?” Hywel incredulously demands, and is reminded he said he was not taking sides.   “No, but my little girl was looking forward to seeing the Panto,” he says.   Cassie concludes that he will have to get tickets for the Panto at Carmarthen.   

"Where's your backbone?"

Dai has other ideas;  “What are you doing messing around here?   Where’s your backbone?   You’ve got a show to do – tickets have gone like hot cakes – all you need is somewhere to perform!”

"Such as where, Dai?"

Diane angrily urges him to suggest somewhere;  “We can’t do it here – it’s too small,” 

"How about Yr Antur?"

then Hywel suggests Yr Antur (in the former bank building, where Awyr Iach operated for a while and also Rhys’ gym).

“Now there’s an idea,” says Dai, 

"Up here for thinking!"

“Up here for thinking!   Typical councillor, thinking outside the box.”   

Mark though he had got out of doing this

Mark is not particularly happy about this, having thought he had got out of performing.

Cheryl comes into the shop and sees Gaynor

Gaynor is browsing in the shop when Cheryl comes in, but then immediately turns to leave again.   

"I've got nothing to say to you"

Gaynor calls her back, and is told, “I’ve got nothing to say to you!”   

Then Mark arrives . . .

When Mark comes in, 

. . . and receives the same response

she snarls, “I don’t want to talk to you either!”

"How lovely to see you – together"

Mark and Gaynor are left looking at each other, with Colin commenting, “Oh – how lovely to see you two here – together!”   

"Grow up, Colin!"

She growls at him to shut up, 

He cannot help but grin

but Colin cannot resist a grin.

Everything is being set up in Yr Antur 

Diane and Cassie are doing some clearing up at Yr Antur, with other members of the cast bringing in some props.   

"I have a good feeling about tonight"

Cassie has a good feeling about tonight and considers that Yr Antur will be ideal.

“Eileen isn’t going to get the better of us,” says Britt, defiantly, and hopes that Mark does not get the moves wrong.   

Mark brings some sustenance 

He returns from the shop with some refreshments, as they will need the energy.

"The ending has been rewritten"

Cassie informs them that the ending has been rewritten, but Mark protests he has only just learned the original version.   Britt adds, “We’ve got a fantastic grand finalé – we need one more actor – 

"I know just the person!"

“and I know just the person!”   She rushes off to get that person.

Gaynor is reading

Gaynor is sitting alone at Llwyncelyn when Hywel returns;  

"Well, you've missed a day and a half!"

“Well, you’ve missed a day and a half!” he tells her, but she is not interested.   Then he asks where Esther is and is told that she is staying at Nel’s until tomorrow morning.

“I’ve bought tickets to take her to the Panto,” he protests;  

"She doesn't want to go to a Panto with her father"

Gaynor sneers that she does not want to go to a Panto in Bethania with her father, suggesting that he finds someone else to go with him.   “Do you fancy coming?” he enquires, “It’s in Yr Antur now, not Bethania,” but she shows no interest whatsoever.

"Do you think Cheryl might be there?"

Then she suddenly has the idea, “Do you think Cheryl might be there?   I want to talk to her – 

"Although what's the point?"

“but what’s the point?”   He proposes that she could come with him, and if Cheryl is not there, she could leave – 

"I'll buy you a drink"

and he will buy her a drink.

"I'm not sure I remember my lines"

The mystery person has been found;  Colin, in his frilly Pantomime Dame outfit, is not sure whether he remembers his lines.   Cassie encourages him, “In a strong voice – if the audience responds, you can respond to them – 

"Just play it up, Colin"

“play it up!”

Cast members are revising

Meanwhile two foxes and a turkey are frantically trying to remember their lines.   “I was hoping more people would turn up, but they haven’t been given much warning, says Britt and Mark is rapidly getting cold feet, 

"I fel sick!"

giving the excuse that he feels sick.   The other two are adamant that he will be fine – and that they are all in the same boat.   

They will soon be starting

Cassie encourages them to smile and the performance will soon begin.

"Don't worry, you won't have to pay"

Meanwhile at Penrhewl, as they finish their meal, Eileen says, “I think it would be a good idea if all the councillors came to the first hunt, next week – but don’t worry, you won’t have to pay, of course.   It will be a way for you to get to know the real countryside – and learn what’s important to those people who vote for you!”

Ieuan has been well-fed, so he agrees to anything

Ieuan appreciates the truth of this, as she goes on, “And it will be a chance to prove to the people on the fence that we have done everything legally.   

"Of course there will be a meal after the hunt"

“Of course there will be a meal after the hunt.”

"If it's anything like this feast, I won't refuse"

“If it’s anything like the feast we’ve just had, I won’t refuse,” he replies;  Eileen will contact Hywel and the other councillors.   Ieuan is sure that everyone will be pleased to support it, 

"Oh – the Panto's Back on – in Yr Antur!"

as he looks at his phone, where the news appears that the Panto is back on – in a new location, Yr Antur.

"I thought we'd stopped that nonsense!"

“I thought we’d stopped that nonsense!” Eileen snarls and immediately gets up from the table;  Howard follows her 

"Hang on – wait for me!"

and Griffiths is not far behind.

♫"See the money"♫

The five members of the cast are now singing, ♫“See the money, see the money – we got from running the hunt!”♫

"The little cubs are still starving"

Britt in her turkey disguise announces that the little cubs are still starving;  

Siôn Blewyn Coch and Siân Slei Bach

“Siôn Blewyn Coch and Siân Slei Bach couldn’t go home – because the ‘horrible farm wife’ had made sure there was no way they could go home!”   

The audience are getting involved

The audience boo their disapproval, 

The poor little cubs huddle together

s Madge and Llinos, the cubs, huddle together.

At the back, Hywel remarks to Cassie that everyone seems to be enjoying themselves, 

"The fun is only just starting, Hywel!"

but she advises, “The fun is only just starting, Hywel!”

The 'horrible farm wife' appears

The ‘horrible farm wife’ suddenly appears and exclaims, “What’s all this noise?   

"Quiet, Dai Sgaffalde!"

“Quiet, Dai Sgaffalde, or I’ll stuff something into your chops!   

That amuses Dai

“You lot don’t understand farm life, or rural life – you have no idea!”

"Is that supposed to be Eileen?"

Hywel asks, “Is that supposed to be Eileen?” and is told that it is simply a ‘farm wife’;  “She looks like Eileen to me!” he maintains.

Colin is now in full flow;  “You can stay away, you stupid foxes – you can’t steal food from my farm – 

"You can't touch my chutneys!"

“or touch my chutneys!   Try saying that after a few sloe gins!   I am going to use my big, vicious dogs to catch you all – oh, yes!”

Eileen and co have arrived

As they prance around the stage, the three from Penrhewl have arrived in the doorway, to see Colin declaring, “My henchmen and I are going to stop you – 

"I'm much more important than you riffraff!"

“I’m much more important than you riffraff!”

"Is that supposed to be me?"

Eileen looks with horror from the doorway and gasps, “Is that supposed to be me?”   The audience enthusiastically jeers at Colin’s character, 

"At least it's modern"

and Griffiths comments that it is at least modern.

"Don't touch me unmentionables!"

The ‘farm wife’ warns the foxes not to touch her unmentionables 

"You're going to prison for a long time!"

and the turkey has now donned a police cap, informing the ‘wife’ that she is going to prison for a long time, 

"Oh, no, I'm not!"

bringing the response from her, “Oh no, I’m not!”

The audience shout with one voice, “Oh yes, you are!” 

"How could you?"

while Eileen pathetically groans, “How could you?”

"Like someone said, goodnight, Eileen!"

Dai turns from his seat in the front row and shouts, “Like someone said, goodnight Eileen!   Don’t hurry back!”

♫"And good riddance!"♫

The cast all sing, ♫“And good riddance!”♫ then take their final bow, 

Colin, the star of the show

with a special curtain call for Colin.