We return to Cwmderi, after several weeks away, to find that inside the chip shop flat, Colin and Britt are watching a news summary on the television, and hear the announcer speaking in English; “Over the last few weeks we have asked everyone in Wales to make changes in the way we live our lives. We have asked you to stay at home if you can.”
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| "He's playing football" |
Britt is becoming agitated and asks where Aaron is; “Out, playing football,” Colin replies. She is adamant that he should be back by now, and Colin is confident that he will be home shortly.
“Yeah, well I want him home – it’s not safe!” she exclaims, but Colin points out that he is not in any of the high risk groups.
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| "What if he catches something?" |
“I’m thinking of you – what if he catches something and brings it back here?” Britt demands, “No – phone him, Col! What time is it in Portugal?”
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| Britt wants the children home |
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| "My phone's in here somewhere!" |
She is not in any way placated by this, and wonders what Colin is doing, delving among the cushions of the sofa; “Looking for my phone,” he replies.
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| Chester has no intention of coming back |
She is disappointed when she gets through to Chester and asks if the airport there is still open, but is told that under no circumstances is he returning home.
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| "It's your mother, Aaron!" |
Meanwhile, Colin contacts Aaron and instructs him to come home, dispairingly explaining, “It’s your Mother!”
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| Rationing is in force |
Next morning, Colin and Aaron are at the shop, displaying a notice which reads, ‘In fairness to everyone, no more than 2 of each item can be purchased.’ Colin is wailing that there is toilet paper, no flour, pasta or rice; indeed the shop does look very empty.
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| "And I caught my finger in the till" |
He goes on, “No plasters – and I caught my finger in the till! But there we are – I’ll go to the cash and carry later to see what they’ve got. And you, my assistant, can be in charge, as long as you wear a mask.”
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| "Dad, is Mam all right?" |
Aaron looks thoughtful; “Dad, is Mam all right?” he asks, and Colin answers, as positively as he can, that she is fast asleep after being awake all night. “So she’s still trying to find a flight for Chest, is she?” Aaron continues, but is told that she will be all right and they will both be keeping an eye on her.
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| "We could cook her a nice meal" |
“Perhaps we can do something special for her – we could cook a nice meal,” Aaron suggests, but Colin points out that there is only a tin of sardines and a tin of prunes on the shelf. “Well, we need to do something special to lift her spirits!” Aaron adds.
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| He thinks of something special |
Colin muses that they do indeed need to do something; “Something special, definite,” he mutters.
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| Colin gets in touich with Eileen |
Next we hear Colin’s voice as he shares a Zoom call with Eileen, who agrees that she can help, and he tells her, “You women understand these things better than me. Perhaps it would be nice to have some sparkles on them.”
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| "I like a bit of bling" |
In the background, Sioned comments that she likes a bit of bling, and Eileen will not charge him. Then they appear to lose contact,
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| "Hello, hello, Colin calling Penrhewl!" |
with Colin shouting, “Hello, hello, Colin calling Penrhewl.”
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| "You're a very kind friend, Colin" |
When they are reconnected, Eileen points out that it will be a favour for a very kind friend.
Colin had not noticed a customer come into the shop; “Wow – that’s your game, is it?” Kath comments,
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| Kath is offended |
“It was hard not to hear, with you shouting into that laptop. Do you know what hurts most, Colin? There’s no mention of Mark in these plans of yours. How you think he’ll feel, knowing that you’re organising all this while he’s stuck in the house, poor dab?
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| Colin is given a dressing down |
“I’m disappointed in you – Mark’s been so good to you over the years – I honestly thought you were best friends.”
When Colin replies that they are, she urges him to do something about it, with a note of menace,
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| "You wouldn't want this secret to slip out, would you?" |
“After all, you wouldn’t want this secret to slip out, would you? You wouldn’t want that, would you, Colin?”
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| "I'll phone him now" |
He agrees to phone Mark straightaway.
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| "It would be easier if you took off the dress" |
Sioned is looking at the laptop at Penrhewl and comments, “It would be easier if you took off the dress.” Colin’s response is that he will not know if he has stitched it in the right place, but then sticks a pin into himself, much to Sioned’s amusement.
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| Britt has rather a shock |
At that moment, Britt walks into the room and is surprised to see Colin wearing her dress.
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| "There's something I need to tell you" |
He is at a loss what to say, but confesses there is something he needs to tell her. “Sorry, Col, I can’t cope with this!” she snarls, “The lockdown, the chip shop’s closed, the kids aren’t at home –
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| "Now you've decided to dress up as a woman!" |
“and now you’ve decided to dress up as a woman! You’re standing there wearing my dress!”
He argues that there is a good reason for that, and she replies that she has had her suspicions for a while.
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| Whoops – there goes the dress material! |
In desperation, Colin kneels down, accompanied by the sound of tearing dress material,
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| "Will you marry me tomorrow?" |
and says, “Britt Monk, will you marry me, tomorrow?”
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| Britt cannot believe her ears |
She cannot believe what she is hearing, but he goes on, “I’ve been preparing this dress so you can wear it at our wedding. I know it won’t be quite lawful, but we can sort that out after the lockdown. We’ve discussed it several times haven’t we?
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| "I love you so much!" |
“I love you so much and . . . I really want you to be my wife. What do you say? Will you marry me?”
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| "Of course I'll marry you, Col" |
After moment’s silence, she agrees that of course she will marry him.
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| "I haven't done my hair yet!" |
Next morning, Britt is panicking that she has not yet done her hair,
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| "I'm setting up the Zoom, Mam" |
and Aaron is working on the Zoom.
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| Dani is on her way across |
Colin is talking on the phone to Dani, who we can see is coming across the road from the Deri, carrying a bottle with a red ribbon,
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| The bottle is left by the door |
which she says she will leave by the door, as she knows he is busy.
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| After a quick check . . . |
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| . . . the bottle is purloined |
picks up the bottle and hurries away with it.
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| "Where's Mam?" |
At number 10, Guto and Tesni are looking at their laptop screen and wondering where their mother is. Gerwyn glumly answers, “On her phone again, probably.”
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| The Zoom participants gather |
The Zoom meeting is about to begin, and at Llwyncelyn, Gaynor summons Hywel to take part.
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| One unenthusiastic onlooker |
In the shop flat, Mathew, who has by now grown a beard, is watching the proceedings on his phone, and Tesni enquires if he is all right. Gerwyn urges her to calm down.
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| Siôn is in charge of the ceremony |
Sitting at the table in Y Felin, Siôn begins, “Its a privilege to lead you through the ceremony today,”
while Anita watches on another laptop, and Iolo on his phone. “Britt, will you repeat after me, ‘I, Britt Monk, take you, Colin Evans, to be my lawfully wedded husband’?”
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| "My lawfully wedded husband" |
and she does so.
Her next declaration is, “I promise to laugh with you in happy times, and mourn with you in sad times, and I promise to be faithful to you and stand by you whatever happens.”
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| "I'd like spomething like this, you know" |
In the café flat, Sara is watching with tears in her eyes; “This is so special,” she says, “I’d like something like this, you know.” Dylan is oblivious to the whole thing, having other concerns on his mind. “Something special, if I ever get married again,” she goes on.
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| Colin's nerves are fraying |
Colin is by now showing signs of nerves, and has to have a drink; Siôn confirms that they can take things slowly, as they have plenty of time.
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| Garry is engrossed in his phone |
Meanwhile in the Deri flat, Dani considers it to be very romantic, but Garry, who is looking at his phone, growls, “Romantic? It’s not even legal!” and she wonders why he is such a grump.
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| "We'll have to do it all again" |
“We’ll have to do it all again after the lockdown,” he goes on.
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| They are amused by Colin's slip of the tongue |
All the online onlookers laugh when Colin mistakenly takes Britt, “To be my lawful wedded husband,” and then realises his mistake; he puts it down to nerves.
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| "It's obvious Britt wears the trousers!" |
Mark comments that it is obvious Britt wears the trousers.
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| This one looks decidedly unhappy |
As Colin promises to laugh with her in the happy times, Mathew is looking very far from happy,
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| Mark crunches away |
and Mark is loudly munching crisps.
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| "As long as we both shall live" |
Colin’s declaration continues, “I promise to appreciate you and respect you for as long as we both shall live.”
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| "Arwen, how many times have I told you?" |
The solemn moment is interrupted by the sound of Ffion’s anguished voice; “Arwen, how many times have I told you?” and she is quickly hushed by Anita.
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| "What's Ffion doing in Y Felin?" |
Noticing this, Gaynor angrily exclaims, “Is that Ffion? What’s she doing in Y Felin?” and Rhys looks very surprised. Siôn says that it is his pleasure to announce that the couple are now married, and there is cheering from all the participants.
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| Jaclyn comes rushing in |
At number 10, Jaclyn arrives, and at that moment her phone sounds,
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| Jaclyn resists looking at her phone |
but she does not look at it.
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| Mark reveals some embarrassing facts |
It is now Mark’s turn, and Colin warns him that children have tuned in as well. “Right, well, Col and I have been big friends for years – and I could tell you a lot of stories about him, like the time he visited a prostitute.” This causes some cheers, and Mark goes on, “Or when he put a bilingual sign outside the shop, saying there were small pricks for sale. What was that translation again, Col? I know you’re not going to be on some beach in Barbados on your honeymoon, but . . .”
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| "You're in for a treat!" |
Colin interrupts him there; “I’ve created a honeymoon suite in the bedroom,” and informs Britt, “You’re in for a treat, I’m telling you!”
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| "You've done very well for yourself" |
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| Mark's colourful underwear |
Mark stands up to get a drink with which to toast the happy couple, and inadvertently reveals that he is wearing Welsh dragon underpants.
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| Dani is suddenly very interested . . . |
Dani suddenly develops a very close interest in what Kath is holding,
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| . . . in what Kath is holding |
and exclaims, “Where did you get that bottle? I put that on the doorstep of the flat.”
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| "You're breaking up – I can't hear you!" |
Kath pretends that the connection is breaking down,
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| "Hey – that's our champagne!" |
and Colin realises that is in fact their champagne, but Tyler abruptly closes the laptop.
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| Aaron would like to say a few words |
Aaron would like to say something at this point, so Colin turns the laptop to face him; “I’m sure that a lot of you know that it hasn’t always been easy for the three of us, with everything –
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| Britt does look happy |
“but Mam, since you found Dad, we can all see how happy you are.
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| "You're the best father I ever had" |
“And Dad, well, you’re the best father I’ve ever had – because it’s not just Mam that’s happy, we all are.
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| Colin feels humbled |
“Because we’re a proper family now, aren’t we? – For ever.”
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| "In the absence of ouir trouserless best man . . ." |
Siôn adds, “In the absence of our trouserless best man, can I propose a toast? To Britt and Colin!”
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| They all drink a toast |
All the participants raise their glasses,
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| "Colin is . . . wonderful" |
and Gaynor informs Britt that, as a husband, Colin is . . . wonderful, and she should know.
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| DJ wants his contribution recognised |
Britt thanks Eileen for the fantastic job she made of the cakes, but DJ interrupts, “She made a fantastic job? I drove them over there without ruining them!” Eileen has had cakes delivered to everyone’s doorstep,
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| "Yes, lovely cakes, Eileen!" |
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| "Let's take five minutes to eat the cakes" |
and suggests that they take five minutes to eat the cakes while the battery charger is being found.
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| "I can't believe you ate my cake!" |
In the café, Kelly looks disapprovingly at Jason; “I can’t believe you ate my cake!” she growls, “I was really looking forward to that after finishing work!” He wonders what work she is talking about, as the café is closed.
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| "This is stupid!" |
Garry is in no better mood, complaining, “This is stupid – having to wear a suit and tie to stand in my own kitchen!”
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| Garry walks out in a huff |
and he stalks out of the room.
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| "Colin's such a sweet man" |
At Llwyncelyn, Gaynor reminisces, “Ah, Colin – he’s such a sweet man, you know. We were young, but we did have happy times. He was certainly foolish, but . . . just a hunk.” It is quite obvious that Hywel does not share this evaluation.
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| Aaron plugs in the charger . . . |
As Aaron plugs the charger into the laptop in the chippy flat, the connection is restored;
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| . . . restoring the connection . . . |
“It doesn’t matter that we don’t have a piece of paper, does it?” says Britt, and Colin remarks that they have each other. “I love you, Mr Evans,” she continues, and he confirms his love for Mrs Evans.
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| . . . with everyone listening in |
When Sara comments that they are lovely, Colin realises that they are online again.
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| "Thank you all for being here today" |
“Thank you all for being here today,” Britt tells everyone, “Especially those who have helped – and you, Aaron. I know things aren’t easy for everyone at the moment, but, well, you’ve made me very happy – an unforgettable day!”
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| "You may kiss" |
Siôn decides that now they are husband and wife, they may kiss, but in Colin’s haste to do so,
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| The ensuing chaos shocks the viewers |
he trips over the charger lead and the online session is abruptly terminated. Several crashes can be heard.
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| "Dad – open the door!" |
As a response to this, Izzy rushes to the door of flat and hammers on it, shouting for her father to open it;
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| Colin is rather battered |
when he does so, blood is pouring from his nose, and and she wonders what has happened.
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| "I'm married!" |
He replies, “Weddings! I’m married!” She is very happy for him, and wishes she could give him a cwtch. “Well, I shall look forward to it, whenever – you know,” he says.
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| Something – or someone – is on Garry's mind |
In the garage, Garry is deep in thought, then picks up his phone and dials a number;
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| "I have to see you!" |
“I can’t stand this any more – I have to see you!”
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