7 December 2023

Cassie puts a donation in an envelope . . .

As Kath is seeing off the last of the ladies from Llanarthur, Cassie puts some money into a brown envelope 

. . . and leaves it by the till

and writes on the front, ‘From the Deri’.   She leaves it by the till.   “Yes, your wreath looks beautiful,” says Kath, before locking the door.

"Goodness me – they can drink, can't they?"

“Goodness me – Merched y Wawr, Llanarthur can drink, can’t they?” she exclaims and Cassie is glad that they can.

"Siôn's going to pick it up at some point"

“Right, I’ve put the money for the food bank in an envelope and Siôn is going to pick it up at some point,” she tells Kath, who insists that if Anita tries to sell her ‘Meddal’ stuff in there again, 

Kath intends to tell Anita straight

she will tell her that people want a drink, not wrinkle cream.

Cassie thinks that they should start decorating tonight;  “You’re out shopping tomorrow – and it will only take two minutes!”   

"What do you mean – two minutes?"

Kath considers this rather an underestimate.   “I’ll finish up here – you can clean the toilets,” Cassie adds.

However she is told, “It’s your turn tonight – I did them last night!”   

"I did that shift for you on Monday"

 counters with the fact that she worked a shift for Kath on Monday.

Kath goes to start on the toilets 

It appears that Kath acquiesces, as the next we see of her is in the toilets, 

Unusual close-up of a urinal

where she discovers that someone has vomited in the urinal, which does not exactly please her.  “What’s wrong with people?” she snarls.

There is a loud scream . . .

Cassie is counting the night’s takings when she hears a loud scream coming from the toilets, so she rushes to investigate.   

. . . and Kath squirts cleaning fluid at Howard

Kath has discovered Howard asleep on the toilet;  she sprays her cleaning fluid at him to try and wake him, as well as loudly shouting, “Oi!”

"When was the last time you fell asleep on the toilet sober?"

Cassie insists that he cannot possibly be drunk;  “When was the last time you fell asleep on the toilet sober?” Kath demands, but is told that he has been drinking lemonade all night.

"What's this, then?"

Kath retrieves a hip flask from on top of the toilet roll holder;  “What’s this, then?” she snarls.   Cassie attempts to rouse Howard and as he staggers to his feet, 

"This is a pub, not a B&B!"'

Kath informs him that this is a pub, not a B&B.   She assumes that it is his dinner in the urinal.

Howard falls over a table

They drag him back to the bar, where he has difficulty standing and falls over one of the tables;  

"Right – the keys, please!"

“Right – the keys, please!” Cassie orders.   

"I'm not walking home!"

He protests that he is not walking home and when told that they will call a taxi, is adamant that he will not pay when he has a car.

He waves the keys in from of them . . .

He waves the keys in front of them, 

. . . and Cassie grabs them

so Cassie snatches them;  “I’m not letting you drive.”

“I promise to go really slow,” he says, “Thirty all the way – twenty, then – I’m a good driver – I could do it in my sleep!”

Nosy Delyth is on the warpath

Delyth is again on her irrational quest to catch the Deri having a lock-in;  she bangs violently on the door, 

"Why don't we tell her the truth?"

so Kath suggests that they should tell the truth.   

Cassie has serious doubts that she will believe the story, 

"We're in her bad books already"

as they are in her bad books already.

Eventually Kath takes Howard upstairs, while Cassie talks to Delyth.   

"Any chips?   Or how about marmalade?"

As he heads towards the stairs, he wonders if they have any chips;  “Or how about marmalade?   But I don’t like the bits.”

"I saw that the lights were on"

Outside, Delyth tells Cassie that she was investigating as the lights were on.   “Kath and I are cleaning – 

"We're going to decorate for Christmas"

“and we’re going to decorate for Christmas,” is the reply.   In that case, the off-duty DS assumes that there are no customers inside.   “Goodness, no – it’s been ‘stop tap’ since eleven,” says Cassie.

"Pubs don't always stick to that rule"

“Officially, yes, but we know pubs don’t always stick to that rule,” remarks Delyth, so Cassie points out that they are an exception to this rule.   

"A little bird tells me . . ."

“A little bird tells me people have been enjoying games of poker here, too,” Delyth adds.

"Well, that little bird is lying"

“Well, that little bird is lying – would you like to come in and check?” Cassie enquires.

"I don't like brown bread"

Upstairs in the flat, Howard is complaining that he does not like brown bread, “And that has seeds in it!   

"Middle-class millennials usually buy those!"

“Middle-class millennials usually buy those!”   Kath has no idea what he is going on about, pointing out that it is all Colin had left in the shop;  

"Do you want this toast or not?"

she demands whether he wants this toast or not and he decides that he does not.

"Do you worry about what people say about you?"

“Do you worry about what people say about you?” he asks, 

"What are 'these people' saying, then?"

and she wonders what they are saying about her, but he does not know.   

"They're wondering where Brynmor is" — and they are not the only ones

Then he says that some people are starting to wonder where is Brynmor.

"He will be home soon"

“Well, you tell ‘some people’ that Brynmor will be back soon,” Kath informs him.

"So you haven't killed him?"

“So you haven’t killed him?” Howard continues, with a note of disappointment in his voice.

The DS has found no-one who should not be there

Downstairs, the over-zealous DS has investigated the toilets and found no-one, 

"We've been closed since eleven"

so Cassie reiterates, “We’ve been closed since eleven.”

"You do realise you could lose your licence?"

“You do realise you could be fined or lose your licence if you’re caught having a lock-in?” Delyth enquires, 

"And if there was gambling going on . . ."

“And would be a lot worse if there was gambling going on.   There we are then – good luck with the decorating.”

Cassie predicts that it will be like Santa’s Grotto by tomorrow.   

"Kath getting the Christmas tree down!"

Then there is a loud thud from upstairs, which Cassie explains is Kath getting the Christmas tree down.

"I'll be back to see the Grotto"

“Right, I’ll be back in the morning, then, to see the Grotto,” says Delyth.   

Cassie scowls at Delyth 

If Cassie’s looks could kill, she would be in serious trouble.   She hurries upstairs to find out what is going on.

Howard in now on the floor

Apparently Howard has fallen off the sofa and from his position on the floor continues, “No-one has said you’ve killed him – 

"Buried him under the patio at Maes-y-Deri "

“but there have been a few jokes suggesting that you’ve buried him under the patio at Maes-y-Deri!   You haven’t, have you?”

"Sorry – I fell off the sofa"

Cassie wants to know what that banging is about and Howard confesses that he fell off the sofa;  

"You're nothing but trouble?"

“You’re nothing but trouble!” she moans.   

"Have you heard that rumour?"

Kath is worried about the rumour she has killed Brynmor.

“Let them think what they like,” laughs Cassie, 

"You'd be off to the Caribbean if that was true"

You’d be off to the Caribbean if that was true!”   

"Please can I go now?"

Howard raises his hand and asks if he can go now, 

"Delyth is probably keeping an eye on the place"

but the request is refused, as Cassie suspects Delyth is keeping an eye on the place.

“You can’t imprison me!” Howard explains 

"You can pass us the tinsel"

and is told that he can pass them the tinsel downstairs, then he can go.

“Look, the last thing I want is PC Plod to see him leaving in the state he’s in,” she tells Kath.   

Howard smiles

Howard simply smiles at them.

He is having problems with spelling

A little later, downstairs, Howard is shuffling the various letters intended to spell ‘Merry Christmas’ with very little success 

"It's fiddly"

and he describes the task as ‘fiddly’.   He regards his position as a hostage situation;  

"I could call the pigs!"

“I could call the pigs,” he threatens, “You’ve locked me in here and made me work for no pay.”

Kath enlightens him that if the police saw him and that bunting, they would not call it work.   

"I feel perfectly sober"

Now he insists that he feels perfectly sober, but Cassie points out that he is still over the limit – 

"I've got a breathalyser under there"

and she has a breathalyser behind the bar if he wants proof.

“I’ll walk then – anything but this!” he says.   Kath doubts that Fielding will still be watching, but Cassie has a feeling that she will be;  “She’s got it into her head that we’re having lock-ins.”   

"This is the worst lock-in I've been to!"

Howard moans that this is the worst one he has been to.

"You stick this tinsel and bunting up there"

“Look, I’ll do a deal with you, OK?   You stick this tinsel and bunting up there, where we can’t reach – and I’ll let you walk home,” Cassie proposes, “But you’re leaving those keys there, all right?”

Bad move to leave the keys in full view

Cassie has very carelessly left the keys in full view, so, after he has agreed to this, he quickly grabs them and runs out of the Deri, 

He disappears out of the door . . .

amid their protests that he has not put up the tinsel.

When she discovers that the keys have also gone, Cassie pursues him, 

. . . but does not get far

but he has not got very far, as they hear a noise, where he has fallen over the tables outside.   

"You're not my mothers!"

They try to get him back in, but he protests, “You’re not my mothers!”

“You could drive and kill yourself – and we don’t want the blame!” shouts Kath, but he insists that he is used to it.   Cassie points out that he does not even know where his car is, 

"It's over there somewhere"

so he points in some vague direction, indicating that it is over there, somewhere.

They get him back on his feet . . .

They manage to drag him to his feet to go back inside, with him complaining about their rough handling.   

. . . and his keys go straight down the drain

In the process he drops the keys, which go straight down the drain.   

"Well, you won't be driving home now"

Kath concludes that he will not be driving home now, but can retrieve them in the morning.

"My house keys were on there!"

“My house keys were on there!” he wails, “I’m staying here tonight – 

"It will be your fault if I freeze to death!"

“it will be your fault if I freeze to death!”   Cassie realises that they do not have a choice, with Delyth on the lookout, but Kath is not at all happy, complaining that they are not a charity.

Delyth has heard the commotion . . .

Along the street, an upstairs curtain is pulled aside and Delyth peers out;  

. . . and is again going to poke her nose in

she puts on her coat and is about to carry out a further investigation.

Howard pours three glasses of whisky

In the Deri, Howard is painstakingly pouring three glasses of whisky;  “You’re having one with me,” he tells the landladies, 

"You owe me that much after losing my keys"

“You owe me that much after losing my keys.   They agree that they will have a small one and then it is back to Grotto duty.

"He can sleep in the toilet if he wants"

“He might as well have one if he’s sleeping on the sofa all night,” Cassie maintains, but Kath says he is welcome to sleep in the toilet if he wants.

"I'm skint"

“I’m drunk, not deaf!” he protests, “Tipsy, perhaps.”   Kath wants to know why he came there to drink his own alcohol and he replies that he is skint, but also wanted some company.

Here comes Delyth again

Then there is more banging on the door;  Kath sends the other two upstairs, vowing that she will sort this out.   

"Many would think you're flirting!"

Howard volunteers to go and have a word with the DS, but is ordered to go upstairs.   “This is the second time you’ve dragged me upstairs – many would think you’re flirting!” he tells Cassie.

"Perhaps I should call you Sergeant Fielding"

“How lovely to see you,” says Kath, as she opens the door, “Come in, love – or perhaps I should call you Sergeant Fielding – are you working?”   Delyth confirms that she is off-duty, but thought she heard a noise outside.

"I wanted to make sure you're not endangering your licence"

“I just wanted to make sure you’re not doing anything to put your licence at risk,” she goes on.   

"Is not finishing the decorating going to do that?"

Kath says that it depends whether not getting a chance to finish the decorating, because someone keeps sticking their nose in, puts their licence at risk.   The DS is quick to point out that a lock-in would indeed do so.

"Was there anything else?"

Kath looks around at the empty pub and asks if there was anything else Delyth wanted;  “If not, good night.”   

"Those glasses weren't there before"

Delyth notices glasses on the bar which were not there earlier.

"We've been here before, haven't we?"

“Delyth, we’ve been here before, haven’t we?” Kath sighs, “Two landladies have had a hard shift – and they’re putting up decorations, so deserve a little nightcap – some festive fun – 

"Do you know what fun is?"

“do you know what fun is?”

When asked why there are three glasses, 

"We might have a man with us"

Kath cryptically replies, “We might have a man with us – is that against the law?”   She is told that it depends on whether he is paying for his drinks.

"I might check upstairs"

Delyth decides that she might check upstairs, but Kath wonders why she would want to do that, as she is not working and they have not done anything.   

"I don't think you've got a warrant, have you?"

“And I don’t think you’ve got a warrant, have you?   In that case, as I said, good night!”

"I need to go to the toilet"

Delyth maintains that she needs to go to toilet first;  

"Half the village is hiding in there!"

“Watch yourself in the men’s toilets, because half the village is hiding in there!” Kath warns.

Howard seems to be dozing off again

In the flat upstairs, Cassie brings Howard some toast and marmalade, 

"All the bits have been taken out"

which has had all the bits taken out.   

"Put your name and address on the back"

“And as I’m such a generous person, I’m going to buy you a Christmas raffle ticket.   All you have to do is put your name and address on the back.”

"There's no need"

He insists that there is no need and that the toast is enough;  “You don’t want to miss a chance to win a £50 voucher to spend at MFC,” she encourages him.

"I said I don't want it!"

“I said I don’t want it!” he shouts;  

"You can't read, can you?"

this confirms Cassie’s suspicion that he cannot read and he maintains it is not a big deal.   

"I didn't go to school a lot"

“I didn’t go to school a lot – my education wasn’t important in our house when I was growing up.”

"Would you like to learn to read?"

Cassie asks how he was able to run a farm and he says that he found a way.   When asked whether he would like to learn to read, 

"It's a bit late for that now"

he replies, “It’s a bit late for that now.”

Delyth has finished her search

Delyth has finished her surveillance of the toilets and Kath is decorating the Christmas tree;  

"And how was Megan?"

“And how was Megan?” she enquires, “Haven’t you got anything better to do when you’re off duty?”

Delyth again insists that she is doing Kath a favour;  “Things would be a lot better for you if I found this party.”

"You pigs can never admit you're wrong"

“You pigs can never admit you’re wrong, can you?” demands Kath.

"Us pigs don't like being called pigs, either!"

“Us pigs don’t like being called pigs either!” Delyth snarls, 

"I could report you for harassment, but . . ."

and Kath suggests that she could report her for harassment, but she is not going to do that because they are neighbours – and neighbours do favours for each other.

". . . take this with you, will you?"

“I’m going to give you an opportunity to be a good neighbour – take this with you, will you?” Kath continues, handing Delyth the brown envelope, “It’s pretty obvious even to an ex DI!”

Delyth's phone sounds

Delyth’s phone sounds and she tells Maya that she just popped out; 

"Yes, I know what the time is!"

“Yes, I know what the time is – OK, bye.”   

She picks up the envelope . . .

She picks up the envelope and walks out of the Deri, 

. . . and Kath smiles

while Kath smiles.

"You might win that prize, you know"

Cassie produces a suitable duvet and tells Howard that he might win the prize now.   

"How's Gwern?"

He asks about Gwern, but Cassie has not had a reply to her latest letter to him.   “Give him time – it just takes a long time to get used to it,” Howard tells her, “A letter will mean a lot to him – I would have liked one.”

"Didn't anyone write to you?"

Cassie is surprised that no one wrote to him;  “I couldn’t have read it anyway,” he says, 

"It would have been nice to now someone was thinking about me"

“But it would have been nice to know that someone was thinking about me.”

Kath shouts that the coast is clear and they can come down now but Cassie insists that Howard can stay there, for which he is grateful.   

"Would you like me to help you write a letter to Gwern?"

Before she goes downstairs, Cassie asks, “Would you like me to help you to write a letter to Gwern?”   

"I'm the last person he wants to hear from"

Howard does not think that Gwern would want to hear from him and settles down to sleep.

Delyth opens the envelope . . .

Back in the pharmacy flat, Delyth opens the brown envelope and looks inside, 

. . . and discovers cash inside

only to find several £20 and £10 notes, which she finds puzzling.

"I don't think we'll see Delyth for a while"

In the Deri Kath pours out a couple of drinks;  she does not think they will see Delyth again for a while and switches on the lights on the Christmas tree.   

"Our first Christmas in the Deri . . ."

“Hey, Cassie – our first Christmas in the Deri!” she says, 

". . . I think this is going to be a Christmas to remember"

“I think this is going to be a Christmas to remember.”